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2009-04-13T08:57:00.001-05:00

ThatsMyKing
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Path - What Led Me to Here

2009-03-24T17:59:00.004-05:00

The Way. The Road less traveled. The Highway (information, usually). Parkway, Interstate, County Road, toll, bridge, trail, track, etc, etc, etc. So many ways to express the method of getting from place to place. Yet, do we even really know where we're going? I started college sure of my destination. I was going to be a pre-med major, with a minor in biology and chemistry, and then I planned to attend medical school and become one of the world's foremost physicians. Yet, after barely more than a semester, I realized that I was studying to make others happy, and not myself. So, I had a period of introspection, and thought, "Hey, I am good at arguing and defending a point or position. Law School it is." Paul Reed, Esquire had a nice ring to it. I could defend the rights of the oppressed, defend the Constitution, and help uphold the law. However, after a conversation with my sister and brother-in-law, both attorneys, both cynical and trapped, and also both of whom fervently advised, pleaded, threatened, cajoled me not to stay in the pre-law path. Thankfully, I listened. Seeing where their path has led makes me happy my stubbornness has bounds. But I digress. So, I am now a sophomore in college, taking business classes, because I reasoned that they would be useful regardless of my eventual career. Along the way, I was taking Spanish classes basically just because I liked it (still do, ;)). I was also taking PoliSci classes for my own personal edification (I guess I am extremely stubborn). But, there was something about those language classes. I just couldn't get enough, couldn't stop. I decided to go to Venezuela after graduation to continue with the Spanish. I went, had the trip of a lifetime, and my path was getting clearer. I had unsheathed my metaphorical machete and cleared it up somewhat. So, Spanish. Well, I wanted to continue, and that meant grad school. I had met this beautiful brunette in college, and become rather enamoured. So, where to go, where to go. She was going to Memphis, TN, and that city happened to have a MA program in Romance Languages and Literatures. Beale Street, Elvis, and barbeque (easy Texans, pork bbq, not beef, not brisket, REAL BBQ!!!) beckoned. Two years, lots of Spanish, lots of papers, the addition of Portuguese, the finding of my true calling, Linguistics, and great friends and a church that helped me grow is what I found in the Bluff City.

Fast forward a bit. Here I am, a professor at a great school, in a great city, surrounded by awesome friends. I have a wonderful wife whom I adore, and I have recently been accepted into a doctorate program. God truly blessed my broken road, my path less traveled.

If I would've continued in what I wanted, I would probably be a resident in a program, hating life, lonely, and wondering, "Where did I go wrong?" Yet, God was there with me in those anxious days, nervous about choices I was about to make. He led me where He wanted me, and I thank Him daily for it.

Where is your path? Is it yours, or are you guided by the Creator? Interesting thought............I welcome responses, or other path stories.

Sorry for no picture, I couldn't find one that went with the entire story. Google maps maybe, with the detour function on?

Path: fighting our way, stumbling along, trying to find the right one

2009-03-19T09:57:00.005-05:00

There is this intrinsic sense of destiny within us. We grow up just knowing that there must be a way, a path, a secret means of achieving...something. Much of our life and energy is spent spinning wheels to find it, hurrying to achieve a prominent place along it, and get to...somewhere. Those with faith and those without faith moorings desire to find this mysterious path to destiny.

There just seems to be no formula for consistently succeeding at this drive. There are too many path-finding dynamics to juggle. Is it 1 path or are their optional trails along a larger path system? Do you cut your own path or stumble into it? Is it a good but not best or right path? Is "the" path permanent? Does leaving a path mean it was the wrong one? Who chooses? Does the path find you, do you scurry around the woods until you find something looking remotely like a path? Are signs good?

It would be easier if it was a flip-a-coin type of impasse between 2 roads, but too often I've faced "forks" with 10 prongs...8 of which look really good. That's just cruel. Then, I've exited pleasant paths for foggy side trails only to discover I inadvertently avoided destruction.

What makes it a good path? How do you find this path? What path are you looking for? What path are you walking on and how did you choose it? Does it have an expiration point or discernible destination?

Path: The Road Not Taken

2009-03-17T22:47:00.016-05:00

The Road Not Taken

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

-Robert Frost, 1920

i first heard this robert frost poem years ago...back before i had a clue of who i was or what was to come of me...but even then, i felt like it was saying something to me. and i think for years, i took the popular path...and it led me nowhere. (not that i didn't try the same path over and over again.) then, something changed. i realized that the path i was on led to nowhere. i stopped believing that i could do things all on my own.

this has become even more apparent to me over the past couple days. thanks to an ongoing medical condition of someone very dear and close to me, i've been reminded that my path doesn't end with me. in fact, it's not even my path. so often we think that we reach a summit, and that's it...we've arrived at where we need to be. but in reality, it's only a small peak on the side of that endless mountain. that path didn't start with me, and i'm not alone on it. it's simply a continuation from so many people that shared their lives and stories, that molded and formed who i currently am and who i am to become. they're on that path with me...and from that, i'll be one of many that will hopefully influence others in a great way, in order to keep adding numbers, and to keep that path heading upward.

so, in a sense, the one less traveled leads to nowhere. i'm sharing the same path with so many other people, and that has indeed made all the difference.

"trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

thanks kyle

love you dad

Beauty: Sex, Lies and Photoshop (Bonus Links)

2009-03-13T05:06:00.000-05:00

i know i've already written my blog for the week, but i keep stumbling upon online articles, advertisements and videos that seem to dwell back to what our cultures view of beauty seems to be.

for example, click this link for an online article from cracked.com displaying the amount of photoshop enhancements that take place in hollywood in regards to actors & actresses, and their appearance on screen.

or click here to see an ad ran in the san antonio express news for an upcoming makeover event in dallas, fittingly entitled 'beauty live'

also, click here to see a video from the new york times documenting the amount of 'touch-up' that goes into practically every photograph that we see in magazines and on billboards, and the effects it can have on an individuals self esteem.

it's no wonder we live in a culture obsessed with outward appearance, and with very few people actually satisfied with what they look like. when the people we're trying to emulate don't even look in real life how we see them in photographs and movies, what chance do we have?

Beauty: A Ray of Compassion

2009-03-12T19:43:00.002-05:00

I love the ABC series "What Would you Do?", partially because it does quasi-experiments that psychologists can't do anymore, and because it inevitably moves me each time I watch a scenario where someone breaks the social norms that often prevent us from helping one another. I love seeing someone standing up and committing an act of kindness amidst the social pressures not to stick your neck out.

A recent episode revealed an actor portraying a man who is collapsed on a crowded sidewalk. The cameras roll to see how long it takes for people to help him or call for help. I saw beauty in Linda who helped the man (who was holding a beer can) while others strolled by in apathy or contempt. Click the link below and watch the last 4:30 to see the beauty.

What Would you Do? video clip

Beauty: elusively abundant refractions of glory

2009-03-12T09:30:00.004-05:00

Pulchritude. Pleasing. Positively stimulating. Lovely. Delightful. Sensational ecstasy from mere exposure. Terrifying delight. Tsunami's of the senses. Spectres of a hidden Glory.

The object is subjectively determined as qualified or unqualified to evoke these universal sentiments within the human heart...often swelling to the point of causing a pain in the breast that is nearly unbearable.

Some have said we are created as hedonists, with much of life being a battle for the object of fulfillment. Self, sex, substances, success, simulated realities, sensational highs and a myriad of things compete for stage time. The ugly composite of things we allow to possess our hedonistic heart greatly shape the sources of experiences we associated with beauty. Yet, beauty cries out to something cosmically timeless, intrinsically ethereal, a vapor that in one sense is touchless and in another so weighty that it threatens to destroy us if fully experienced.

What things awaken you to the core of your being like an ancient echo in your ear?

What objects stir you to secretly want to abandon all pursuits and just...be?

What moments represent a bouquet of overwhelming beauty scents permanently embedded within your memory?

What makes up your hedonistic buffet line - because you are a hedonist...the question is what is supplying satisfaction to your engine of desire!

Beauty: One Step Closer

2009-03-11T05:01:00.000-05:00

beauty is a feeling, an emotion
when all is as it seems, as it should be
when competing forces are at peace
when breaths are caught, when shoulders are relaxed

beauty is a tingling sensation, the goose bumps
a moment to be captured, stored in your memory
a thought not soon to be forgotten
an image of heart, a counterpart of love

beauty is all around, constantly overlooked
it lives on city highways, it’s found in suburban shopping malls
it’s one step closer to reality
what we all possess, what keeps us going

Beauty: in the eye of this beholder

2009-03-10T23:32:00.020-05:00

Beauty: Sounds in my life

2009-03-09T22:01:00.005-05:00

I feel like Beauty gets pigeonholed into a very tight definition. Vision becomes the principal vehicle for beauty and other senses get pushed out. I love a sunset just as much as the next guy, but there have been some that were a 4 of 5 on the sense meter. The early fall warm breeze and cicada chorus, with the smell of burning leaves and the most luminous color pallet available. The beauty could be the cool sheets and the warmth of your lover, or the taste of that regional favorite that has been out of reach for so long.

I am a sucker for beauty. My poison of choice is sound. Don't get me wrong, it's not just the vibrations my ears pick up, but the message of the words and the mixing of the tones. There are a few people who can convey more with a few notes than others will in an album. I can only hope that sharing a few of these with you could bring a little joy to your lives.

The Swell Season
Martin Sexton
The Avett Brothers
Paper Route
Bon Iver
David Bazan
Josh Ritter

Beauty: As defined by...

2009-03-09T12:03:00.003-05:00

Beauty is relative to the eye...

To some it is a vehicle, to others nature...to some it is detail, to another, grandiose...and so on...

Mostly, beauty speaks to the creator...insert small or large "c" here...

Maybe it is just an over sensitive emotional fibre hidden within the "f" of my Myers Briggs profile...but I find it dangerous to judge beauty, and inviting to appreciate more widely...

I also have found that what appears beautiful at first, can be full of else...

So...nothing new here...maybe just a reminder...or a nudge...

Do not Pass Go, Do not Collect $200 - The Language Game

2009-03-09T10:17:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the delay in this post

As most of you know, I am a linguist. (yes, I speak several languages, but that is not all a linguist does, I also study language scientifically). One of the seminal moments in my life, in this regard, was a book entitled, "Word Play," by author Peter Farb. It is a book about language, and about how it is like a game, both metaphorically and literally. We, the speakers, are the players, and we subconsciously and sometimes consciously know the rules of our "game." We "play" and the other players "play." This book opened up language, and its study, in a manner that changed my whole perspective.

Thinking of language as a game is an interesting idea. Like Monopoly, certain people add their own twists to the "rules." In my house, we put $500 in the middle, and also from payments of Community Chest and Chance cards. The income tax space funds went there too. To get the cash, all you had to do was land on Free Parking. When I would play at a friend's house, they would always look at me crazily and say,"That's not in the rules!!"

Language is the same way. People hear an accent, or a dialect (variation, NOT SUBSTANDARD), and they want to say, "That's not in the rules!!" Yet, the goal is the same, and we understand what is said, and we understand it completely. So, is it against the rules? If someone says, "I ain't got none." Are they breaking the rules? Do we understand? Do we judge?

I'll show that they are not. In English, we are a SVO language. That means the subject goes first, followed by the verb, and the the object comes last. So, in our sentence, "I" is the subject, and our verb (in this case a verb with a negative marker) is next. Finally, the direct object, that which receives the direct action of the verb, is last. A completely grammatical sentence by the constitutive rules of English.

Wait, you are probably thinking. What about double negatives? What about the word "ain't?" Aren't they wrong?!?!?!? The answer, NO!!!!!!! Shakespeare used both, and we hold him as the pinnacle of English. First off, the idea that double negation is actually positive is ludicrous. Language isn't math (by the way, Bishop Robert Lowth, a mathematician, came up with that rule in the 18th century, and it stuck because of the desire for maintaining social class distinctions) . Many languages use double negation as the standard. Are they not logical? French, Spanish, and hundreds more use such formations as standard, so unless billions of speakers are totally illogical in their speech, that argument falls flat. "Ain't" is a holdover from an older term for negation, so that argument falls too.

Dang, and all those English papers with red ink, and all those arguments with English teachers (I welcome all arguments from the other side).............

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200: Monopolizing thought

2009-03-05T22:35:00.004-06:00

Monopolizing thought is a scary thing. Centralizing power is a risky proposition. In the game Monopoly, someone is supposed to win. (Not that anyone has ever seen a game played to the last dollar in the history of ever.) So one person controls all the money and all the property due to a combination of luck and skill. Looking at the games I have played of Monopoly, the most fun is the beginning. Everyone has some money and a shot to build an empire.

I am for a game that teaches personal finance to people, but not one that teaches gain all the power and push everyone else out. The monopoly is a giant threat to a capitalistic society, but we live with them every day. Major League Baseball has a government sanctioned monopoly over top tier professional baseball in the US. There is no alternative equivalent, only the steroid enhanced big league players of the MLB.

You hear about the Wal-Mart's and KKY Zippers of the world, but may not think of "our political heroes" as being a monopoly. I don't propose competing governments (taxes are high as it is), but diversity of ideas. I hope that someday there are more than left and right, or D's & R's, or liberals and conservatives. I would like to hear the third party platforms get a larger/louder voice. Maybe the Socialist movement has a great plan for the FDA that keeps tainted food off our plates. Maybe the Green Party has a plank or two in their platform that could address health care concerns. Maybe we sound take more time to look at who is out there and what they have to say. Free up the political thought market and allow some competition.

DNPG – DNC$200: Circular Living

2009-03-05T08:53:00.002-06:00

The game of Monopoly is an interesting reflection of our understanding of life.

We seem to see life as a game of sorts. We hope to have more good luck than bad luck and we intend to make money along the way. Apparently, success or victory can be claimed when we have more than others, although such relativism leads to an unwinnable proposition. After all, someone is always richer, smarter, and better-looking. Still, a great number of us live in such a purposeless haze as to chase the illusion of relative success.

To me, the beauty of Monopoly is in the way that the game board is oriented. The square-ishness makes me smile. No matter how much money one earns or how many properties one acquires, he must still continue on that tedious journey. He must continue making his way around the square.

For all intents and purposes, we could round out that square game board into a circle and the effect would be no different. We would be engaged in circular living, the human equivalent of a dog chasing his tail.

Circular living is a disease that plagues most of us most of the time and all of us some of the time. We chase incremental improvements and relative gains. Just once, I would like to see someone land on Park Place or Boardwalk (or even Marvin Gardens or Baltic Ave) and then refuse to take his next turn. I would love to hear someone say, “I think I’ll stay here awhile and just appreciate the view.”

I would like that very much.

Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200: Free Parking

2009-03-03T09:26:00.012-06:00

i’m one that typically tries to find the good that comes from a bad situation, no matter the severity. sometimes it takes me a while to really sit down and look back at an undesired experience, but inevitably, it happens.

the subject of this blog is “Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200”. the previous line to this popular phrase from the game monopoly is: “Go To Jail. Go Directly To Jail”, and in the summer of 2003, that’s exactly what I did.

as a kid, i enjoyed playing this game quite often. (far too frequently i’d end up playing by myself…i would even create imaginary players i’d have to compete against, but naturally, i always made sure that “i” won.) one thing i never understood about this game was that it was a game of real estate and money, of finance and the occasional tax; so what did going to jail have to do with that? perhaps we now see some correlation between that and our society today (ie: enron, madoff, etc.), but that’s for someone else to write about.

here’s my understanding of a greater truth in my life, as taken from that simple family game. i was just going about life, playing the game. rolling the dice and seeing what property i landed on too. i was not concerned about outside forces (besides perhaps the occasional tax...you really can’t get away from those). that is, until i found myself in a sticky situation without a ‘get out of jail free’ card. in the summer of 2003, i was living like a king (at least that’s what i tried to portray to everyone else. internally, i knew i was a mess). excessive alcohol intake and partying had become a fairly regular thing in my life. i was not worried about tomorrow, only where i was drinking that night.

on that night, something changed. i was driving home early from a night out with friends, because i had to get up very early the next morning and leave on vacation. about ½ mile from my house, i saw the flashing lights in the rearview mirror. i pulled over, and began to wonder what i had possibly done wrong. turns out, i wasn’t speeding, or swerving, or in violation of any moving offense. the car i was driving (my friends by the way, he was ‘too drunk’ to drive) had expired tags (he was always the procrastinator). so, because of something as silly as an old piece of paper stuck to a windshield, i was now about 10 minutes from taking a ride downtown. the officer could smell alcohol on my breath, so he pulled me out of the car for a field sobriety test. honestly, i thought i did very well, but apparently my vote didn’t count. DWI.

the ironic thing in all of this is that i really wasn’t drunk. to this day, i’m convinced he just didn’t like me…that there was a prejudice involved. after 22 hours in jail, i was released on bond. about 6 months and several thousand dollars later, my case was thrown out, because the prosecutor had no evidence in which to proceed. the video they took showed no signs of inebriation.

i started this post by saying that i typically find the good that comes from a bad situation. the good that could possibly come from this story: well, there are a couple things. first off, did i mention that the case was thrown out on account of me not being drunk?! i can’t even begin to tell you how many times before that night, the outcome could have been severely different. there were nights when i don’t even remember driving home, so i can only imagine what would have progressed from an expired tag then. and secondly, this incident began something in me. it started an awakening, that life wasn’t just a game. that situations are real, and that ‘get out of jail free’ cards really don’t exist. it wasn't a change overnight, but it most definately was an introduction to a different life. one filled with promise and security.

occasionally, you do land on “free parking”.

DNPG-DNC$200: an efficiency confession

2009-03-02T14:41:00.006-06:00

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and the most efficient way to get there is to increase speed, right? There is an implied correlary of relationship between those life lessons. I value efficiency (not over quality or end result) in general. This appreciation has contributed to what my wife sometimes refers to as a "lead foot" in driving.

I used to be in a job that involved driving lots of places with jam-packed schedules of appointments. I once got 2 tickets in the same city within an hour - 1 for going 9 over while driving in the slow lane of an interstate. After that experience I bought a radar detector since it was the logically cheaper alternative than paying for another ticket the next time I was in that market (right?). In Chicago you'll get honked at by the cops if you're not going at least 15-20 mph above the speed limit.

So what's the jury think about efficient transit - i.e. "speeding"? Is it relative? This is a confessional inquiry...

King: Can't Out-Solomon Solomon

2009-03-01T18:06:00.004-06:00

Sometimes, when I'm in my car I hit a bit of NPR deadzone - that period of programming where the Lords of NPR just give up and use any piece of oddball radio to fill the gap between All Things Considered and the Marketplace Morning Report. They should just throw in some more BBC News - you can never go wrong with BBC News. Instead you get some obscure interview about Austrian Economics, its role in the Cypriot struggle with Turkey and how this affects the modern Latina lesbian family. There's usually a reference to jazz and a long-dead Hollywood icon too.

Fortunately, for these periods of NPR insanity, there's Catholic Radio. Last week, when I couldn't take any more NPR deadzone, I jumped terrestrial frequencies and heard the most interesting sermon. Father so-and-so stated his belief that "You can't out-Solomon Solomon," no matter how hard you try. His larger point was that the heart of man longs for satisfaction in God, but men mistake this longing for fleshly desires and spend their lives striving to fulfill those desires. And of course, no man has ever lived who was more able to "succeed" in this striving than Solomon. Solomon was King after all - he was literally a law unto himself, and there was nothing which limited him from getting what he wanted. He had an entire kingdom at his disposal. No day dreaming about building great works or doing great things - just build it, just do it. No pleasure denied, no experience too costly - all you have to do is command. Solomon is way ahead of us, he's been there, done that, and realized the meaninglessness of selfish striving.

2009-02-28T15:26:00.004-06:00

I bid you adieu.

King - Heavy is the head that wears the crown

2009-02-27T13:44:00.005-06:00

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. An ancient proverb that tells us peons that it ain't no picnic being the head honcho. It invokes images of difficult decisions that will cost much, and the benefit of said decision must outweigh the cost to the kingdom. I usually envision a person agonizing over decisions like going to war, or taxation (with or without representation), laws that will affect the daily life of denizens and citizens, or which royal family to betroth a child. Things that are weighty, things that matter. But, over the course of history, many of these "hard" decisions barely lasted to the end of a reign. Sometimes, they lasted a while, but anyone remember (other than history PhD's) some of King Alfrech's decisions? How about King Henry I? How about James K. Polk? How about William Taft? Anybody? I didn't think so. Do these decisions really matter then? Did they last? Did all that agonizing merit the durability or lasting of that decision? I wonder if there was a ruler who made a decision that lasted........

Imagine for a moment this King. His crown will be one of thorns. He is in a garden, agonizing over a decision that will affect the life of every single person in history. He knows that it will be a costly one, that cost being His own life. He will also ask those who He chooses to follow Him to give of themselves, many their own lives as well, which they will perceive as a cost, but it is really a gain. He knows that there will be first lashes (with a cruel instrument, just google cat 'o nine tails), and then later backlashes and more backlashes (read schisms, Arianism, Calvinism, atheism, Islam, Judaism, Darwinism, spiritualism, communism, socialism, modernism and postmodernism, and a slew of other -isms). He knows there will be agony, because the device used to crucify is so painful a word had to be invented to explain the pain, excruciate (Latin for from or out of the cross). He also knows the agony won't end there, because time after time, He will be rejected, even by those who are closest to him, and claim to be His followers. He knows that most frightening of all, for a span of time, He will be separated from part of His essence, His Father God, and will experience the full anger, rage, and castigation that every human deserves, yet He did not. The event facing Him is terrible, the decision so difficult that His sweat becomes as blood (a real condition, just ask an MD). He is there in this garden, and says quietly, "Father, if it be Your will, let this cup pass from me, but not my will, but YOUR WILL be done."

Later, he hangs from a cross. Beaten, broken, spat upon, denied, and dying. He looks up, and with more compassion and love than we can understand, says, "It Is Finished!" and dies. Three days later, he emerges victorious. An empty grave His evidence, and His followers take His testimony to Jerusalem, Judea, and towards the ends of the earth. Centuries later, we still worship Him, praise Him, and are taking His Word to the ends of the block, the city, the nation, and the earth.

I say beautiful, not heavy, is the head that wears that crown.

http://www.blogger.com/www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzqTFNfeDnE

Now, that's my King.

King: An uncomfortable state

2009-02-26T20:11:00.003-06:00

In the popular children's book, Where the Wild Things Are, Max is sent to his room without supper as he is behaving mischievously. There, he imagines a world where he stares the wild things down and becomes King of all wild things. This is only a fleeting moment, as he begins to yearn for a warm meal and the comfort of home.

I identify with this story, as sometimes I can feel like I am a King at work, or playing sports, or hanging out with friends, but it only lasts so long. Home is comfortable, inviting, and offers unconditional love. As a King you are constantly judged and you are only as good as your last action, speech, work, etc...At home you are free to show your imperfections around the ones you love. So, is it good to be King? Or do all of us yearn to be home for a warm supper?

Where the Wild Things Are soon to be adapted into a movie by Spike Jonze.

King:a few Kings you should know

2009-02-26T18:07:00.003-06:00

Martin Luther King Jr.-check earlier post
Rodney King-Black man beaten by LAPD and one of the sparks of the Race Riots in Los Angeles in 1992
Stephen King-Author of suspense and thriller books that end up as movies
Sacramento Kings-a group of kings that play basketball in California
King James-NBA phenom or commissioner of an English translation of the Bible
Kaki King-crazy good guitar player lady
B.B. King-crazy good guitar player dude with diabetes
Larry King-Check CNN any time you want an look for suspenders
King College-not were you learn to be Kingly, but a 4 year college in Bristol TN or London England or any of the other schools fighting over the name
King Cake-a desert associated with Marti Gras in which a figurine of a baby is placed
"The" King-Creepy masked man who promotes Burger King products
"The King"-Elvis Presley
King-a town in Ontario
Carol King-musician and member of Songwriting and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
King Tut-Egyptian Pharaoh who's tomb was discovered in the Vally of the Kings in 1922
King Crimson-English progressive rock band from the 1970's
Peter King-Republican Rep. from New York
King Koopa-arch nemesis of the Mario Brothers
Smoothie King-pervayer of yogurt based/over priced sweet mush in a cup
LA Kings-Hockey players from other country's that play professionally in Southern California
Kottonmouth Kings-Hip-Hop act, into Cannabis but would probably spell it with a K
Latin Kings-Street gang or Swedish hip-hop group or comedy tour
King Edward-a line of Kings of England or a tobacconist
King Cobra-venomous snake from India
King Arthur-fictional King of England with a round table and sweet sword
King Cab-the 4 door cab of a Nissan Truck
California King-a bed for people who don't fit on a regular King size bed
Joe King-guitarist of the Fray and man with an unfortunate name
King Ranch-located near Kingsville Texas and used for hunting, ranching, and farming
Storm King-an Imperial Stout from Victory Brewing

King: power to move and inspire

2009-02-25T22:11:00.004-06:00

We don't have Kings anymore. It's good to be king, they say - but what does that mean? Being on top? Untouchable? In many ways I think our unfamiliarity with a King and cultural conditioning to find the idea of unequivocal power repulsive creates a hindrance for our ability to conceive of an all-powerful, almighty, sovereign God. We insert democratic ideals into our God-Man relationship. But that's a whole series of ideas...

MLK impresses me as a leader. He's an archetype of a unique class of leaders. They led well. Many have led well. MLK led against the odds. Many have. MLK led a mass of people over which he had no actual authority/power. Again, not unique. MLK led with conviction. Less common, but not unique. MLK pushed a proverbial flywheel towards a quantum idea without compromising values or beliefs. Means never justified themselves by the end goal. That is rare.

If physical death is the price that I must pay to free my white brothers and sisters from a permanent death of the spirit, then nothing can be more redemptive.

A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.

A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.

A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan. (what's the church version of this statement?)

We will speed the day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing... Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'm free at last.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Everybody can be great, because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.

Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

The ultimate test of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and moments of convenience, but where he stands in moments of challenge and moments of controversy.

King: Man In The Mirror

2009-02-25T20:44:00.005-06:00

the following video was found while doing a spontaneous youtube search after seeing this song performed (rather poorly in my very untalented opinion) on american idol. i think it takes a lot to carry such a powerful song, by the KING of pop.

"if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change"...

some of us are still looking for our niche, our way to make the permanent change in this world. so often we see something (such as a youtube video) and get inspired...but is that real, lasting inspiration, is it holy discontent, or is it just a temporary awe of images? "no message could have been any clearer"... i pray that clarity will show it's face soon.

King: "Aish Tamid"

2009-02-24T12:29:00.005-06:00

The place lays phased like a warrior slayed
Engraved into the space with his sword still raised
Layers of charcoal sprayed through hallways
Praise relays off the walls echoing all ways

Dirt covered earth lays beneath my rib cage
Giving birth to overgrowth invading on to path ways
Burnt out trees cover streets where children once played
Sown seeds decay through sacred stepping stones in disarray
Where the alter used to be placed inter-changed for bloodstains
Sunrays illuminate the smoke filled haze
Trace of incense the scents of sacrifice stayed

Aish tamid eternally
Fire burns continuously
Wondering where you been
Won't you come to me?

Flash back patches of grass growing wild in fact
Cracked walls burnt black like a kingdom sacked
Memories like artifacts attacked yet still intact
Melodies wrapped in glass and shattering with the impact

Air intermingling ringing with the singing
of songs once sung, flung into the rafters
Catastrophe struck the sound stuck
Disaster plastered
The aftermath a blasted building once standing, like a starved man fasting
the skies expanding clouds passing, dust particles dancing,
in broken bars of light, streaming from a shaft, slashed into the ceiling,
Sshhhh, you could feel the ground breathing.

Aish tamid eternally
Fire burns continuously
Wondering where you been
Won't you come to me?

Daughter of Zion is lying crying in the mist
Morning light slips in, shifting through the darkness
Like a morning wife reminisce having visions of her long gone prince
Memories drip rain drops tip towing emptiness
Intermixed with tears like fears left unfixed
Walls worn thin frozen fortress like dawn waiting for the sunrise of a day that got skipped
Like a life gone wrong wandering wilderness
Lovesick stripped abyss missing once luscious

Aish tamid eternally
Fire burns continuously
Wondering where you been
Won't you come to me?

Ill Paint the scene so you could see, the city's picking up speed
I’m on a bench 14th street, taxi's streaming yellow streaks
Spears piercing through my ears, you could hear the traffic speak
Jack hammers drill smackling through the crackling concrete
Buildings filled with windowsills spilled tangled telephone wires
Signs sparking neon lights flash like wild fire
My insides rise I start to feel paralyzed
Let out a sigh-a melody blew by- like an ancient war cry
the way the sunlight hit the leaves it really caught my eye,
glistening' listening' to the breeze dancing' through the leaves on the trees,
freeze, the city move's in slow motion like a dream

I'm left empty like the temple turned into a fox den
Bus fumes dripping spitting into city summer sun
Sifting through the ash dimly lit vision listening
To the hiss lifting off a nighttime ocean
Shim, shim, shimmering singeing hair on my skin
whispering where ya been

From amidst the darkness set sail with the softness
Breeze traveling across the seas arisen from within Mt. Zion
Wind coming in picking up momentum
Cutting crisply through the thickness riding on a rhythm
A rollercoaster sizzling, twisting down the mountain
ripping rocket ship exploding like a fountain
overflowing spilling through the courtyard of Jerusalem It all begun
I see busting through the rubble bubbling drying up the puddles precision
Uncovering debris lifting up the fallen arisen within
to reach the yiddin even in Manhattan
exposed menorah glowing in the shadows of destruction
trailblazing through affliction
brushing off the branches golden
standing strong flames
dancing like a lion roaring rising out of nothing

"Aish Tamid" by Matisyahu

Energy: Of the five hour variety

2009-02-22T09:49:00.001-06:00

I like energy drinks. At a time in my life when sleep is in short supply, energy drinks have filled much of the void. I realize that I might perish due to guarana or l-tuarine poisoning when I'm 65, but I'll roll the dice for now.

"180", "5 Hour Energy", and the Starbucks fallback "Quad Grande Dry Cappuccino" are personal favorites. What about you? Got a secret energy concoction to share? I'm always looking for a good fix...

Energy: A Paradox

2009-02-21T10:52:00.002-06:00

(I am posting this on behalf of Kevin...)

Having kids is tiresome. As a young dad, I miss sleeping in on saturdays, I miss watching football, golf, basketball in a half comatose state for hours on the couch, I don't enjoy having my body tense up with every baby's cry, I miss going to the gym on the weekend to renew my energy.

Having kids is energizing . I love seeing my son's eyes brighten when I pick him up, I love seeing him learn and notice new things everyday, I feed off his enthusiasm when he is playing, and I dare anyone to come up with a better noise than a baby's laugh.

Going to church can be a beating. Waking up early on your day off, dressing up on your day off, having to be engaging and social. Going to church also gets me focused and provides me with a new perspective on life. In that sense it is energizing.

Helping others who cannot help themselves is hard, draining, and often an inconvenience.

Helping others is rewarding, refreshing, and it is our calling - to bring energy to this world by expending a little bit of ours.

Energy: Information Society, Memories, Remixes, and Pure Energy

2009-02-20T08:41:00.007-06:00

I suppose that most people remember some of the songs they grew up listening to as kids. Most people remember sitting in Mom’s station wagon listening to Hall & Oates or hearing Dad blast Steppenwolf in the garage. And I suppose I remember some of that.

My best memories, however, tend to live in my brother’s room. He was way ahead of his time in a lot of ways. He was way too smart for the 80s – that much is for sure.

I can remember sitting in awe as he would break out the newest record he had gotten. I would just watch him in amazement as he would then take that record and a couple of others and make homemade mixes. He would spend hours playing around and I would spend hours just admiring the guy. And he wouldn’t make “mix tapes” like most dorks made – I am talking about original remixes of existing songs, using an archaic mixer, a keyboard with drum pads, and two turntables.

I am still beyond impressed.

His greatest remix was of the Information Society hit “What’s on Your Mind (Pure Energy)”. He took the song, complete with the Mr. Spock sample (“Pure-pure-pure-pure…pure energy”), and created a 20 minute remix that lives on today. It was actually something of an underground hit (well, under-underground as the people who kept asking for it were mainly friends and neighbors). Still, I would guess that there are dozens of cassette tapes of the remix floating around out there.

I love you Jacob. Pure-pure-pure-pure…Pure Energy.

Energy: In Photos

2009-02-20T07:27:00.026-06:00

Energy: life lessons of entropy

2009-02-18T14:30:00.007-06:00

I have long been fascinated by the concept of entropy - this rule spanning physics, sociology, chemistry and all spheres of life that nature is winding down, the batteries are draining, disorder is a default direction. Endless research has confirmed the bizarre reality of this universal deterioration at play...it baffles many world-class scientists. It's as if the entire cosmos was established in interdependent perfection and then was cracked, and it's been leaking its mojo ever since.

Eventually, this intrigue with entropy progressed from an external fascination to a more significant function of everything. You can't save time - it evaporates like the morning fog before a raging sun. You can't preserve relationships at the ideal zenith point - the illusion of stationary suspension of desirable states is consistently left in shambles. Mountain top experiences meet their descent into the next valley.

So often I have tried to approach life, marriage, finances, personal health and ultimately my interaction with God in a way that denies entropy. I attempt to "save," "get ahead," "invest," and stockpile units for either longer term or independent use. It doesn't work. Yesterday rarely comes to my defense in the Today or Tomorrow.

There's a vibe of independent resistance deep within me that finds full abandon in the dependent relationship with the Father as a perpetual mode intolerable. As a result, I am caught in this cycle of engaging God in truly invigorating ways, and then proceeding to act as though I have charged up my temporary rechargeable batteries sufficiently to run awhile apart from the Source. I am inclined to practice a life model that resembles GM's hopeful Volt - celebrating the ability to go just "a little farther" before needing to be recharged. As I trudge down the road delighting in my ability to keep moving despite an energy gauge reading "100%....90%....80%....70%..."

Entropy. It's like the whole game is rigged to fail. Sure, we can buy another round, but the house always wins. Whenever I see energy slipping away, it makes me wonder...what source is disconnected? What delusion am I operating under?

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words...

God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong...so that no man may boast before God...Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord!

My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness...Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me...

Idol: what false reality?

2009-02-14T16:25:00.002-06:00

From the dawning of man we have wanted to escape from our present reality. Yes….I think that apple looks delicious.

It comes in many forms, but one of the more clearly observable forms is the idolization of something/someone. Ancient Greece’s would throw big rocks, wrestle, and run around. These Grecian were the first “Olympian’s” and they were idolized. As the citizenry of Greece would watch they were instantly transported to another reality beyond themselves for a while they could insert themselves into a reality which is perceived to be more glamorous, comfortable, interesting, etc. It was the desire to be something/someone which they were not.

Fast forward to today and there are seemingly infinite ways of passing the time and getting out of your present reality. Now there is a fine line between amusement and all out idolization. It is interesting how “human morality” can clearly see when the line has been crossed, i.e. stalkers, etc. But when I think about all the time that humans spend at movies, sporting events, reading gossip magazines, etc.…….or more perversely; strip clubs, drug dens, habitual gambling, etc. it does make me wonder how truly unhappy people are that they would try to escape from their “current state” with this idolization of the person, the situation, etc. It is also interesting (dare I say shocking) at how grey “human morality” can be to the aforementioned perverse escapes.

As I alluded to, idol worship doesn’t have to stop at a person or even a deity. I would contend that the person or deity (made from stone, metal….or even cardboard), is a means to an end. The “end”, is to escape the present situation(s) and not have to think/worry about the future.

Idol: Noun or Verb

2009-02-14T11:21:00.004-06:00

Idol (noun) - an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship

Idolize (verb) - admire, revere, love greatly or excessively

To worship an idol is a dangerous thing. Whether it is something, somebody, or yourself, sooner or later you will realize that nothing and no one is without flaws. When we lift someone up on a pedestal, but then are faced with evidence that conflicts with the perfect image - it creates cognitive dissonance. From that point, we either re-frame our image and acknowledge imperfections, or we twist the evidence to continue our rosy image of that person. "My father is perfect, but he behaved inappropriately - well, ummm....that person really made him behave inappropriately...it's not my father's fault at all - still perfect." As humans, it is way too time consuming to try to represent others as they really are - complex beings with strengths and weaknesses. This heuristic bias is even stronger for those we despise. "The president is stupid, but he just approved a policy I agree with - well, he probably just gave in to my political party - still an idiot." This kind of thinking is easy - it helps us get through the day and make sense of things quickly. Ask A-Rod - he quickly went from the greatest ever to a cheat - from hero to villain.

I would suggest that we should not create heroes and villains, but to idolize aspects of people. This may be easy for our role models and loved ones - but I dare you to try this with your enemies. You can admire and love without categorizing - it's tough, but it's definitely worth it. Pick the verb over the noun.

Idol: Has a nose but does not smell

2009-02-12T19:58:00.007-06:00

Looks like the expected topics have been covered on this one... So a personal ramble...

This photograph clearly shows a niche that originally contained a god or goddess. The idol, possibly made of silver or gold, stood on the pedestal inside the carved hollow. Archaeologists believe this niche dates to the time of Jesus. (from http://www.followtherabbi.com/Brix?pageID=4962)

The Hallel includes Psalms 113-118 and 135-136. In addition to all the Torah, Rabbi Yeshua would have memorized these psalms and recited/chanted/sung them during Jewish feasts. See if the end of Psalm 118 looks familiar (palm branches anyone? - Ps. 118:25)...

What does the Hallel have to do with "Idols" you might ask?

An excerpt from Psalm 115 includes the following:
"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness.
Why should the nations say, “Where is their God?”
Our God is in the heavens; he does whatever he pleases.
Their idols are silver and gold, the work of human hands.
They have mouths, but do not speak; eyes, but do not see.
They have ears, but do not hear; noses, but do not smell.
They have hands, but do not feel; feet, but do not walk; they make no sound in their throats.
Those who make them are like them; so are all who trust in them.
O Israel, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield.
O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield.
You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield."

I have been working with my kids to memorize the Hallel. It can be an arduous process, but this section is easy. By touching their mouths, noses, ears, etc. the text comes alive and can be fun. At the same time we try to talk about idols (i.e. basketballs, ponies, television...). Such a concept can be difficult (sigh).

The interesting thing is that the idols of biblical times were not just laying about one's home. Niches were carved. A place was made for the idol. How often do we carve places out places for idols? The idol can be thrown away, but the niche is more difficult to hide.

Idol: The Market

2009-02-12T17:35:00.003-06:00

Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
~ Jonah 2:8

When I think of the word “idol,” I’m immediately reminded of the golden calf the Israelites created and worshipped at the base of Mount Sinai as described in Exodus 32:4 (Poussin’s Adoration of the Golden Calf is shown above). It always seemed incredible to me that Aaron could fashion an idol and encourage such blatant idolatry at the base of the very mountain upon which rested the glory of God. In doing so, Aaron reduced the God of Israel to a physical thing, something that could be understood and controlled (“This is your god, O Israel, who brought you up from the land of Egypt”). That’s what men do, we reduce the unfathomable and the uncontrollable into something much less frightening.

One of the more popular idols in our day is The Market (Arturo Di Modica’s Charging Bull is shown above). For many people, The Market is a kind of god – they follow its every move, study its inscrutable ways, wager their future and place all their hopes upon it. How pitiful that after more than three millennia we’re still worshipping the same bull. I admit to a little schadenfreude at our recent economic troubles, not because I enjoy people’s misery, but because I delight in the destruction of idols. Economic judgment has been substituted for moral judgment and that which is good for The Market has been deemed intrinsically good. As The Market bull gets mauled by a bear, and our leaders stumble in the dark to “save the economy,” I hope we’ll turn away from worthless idols, and look back to the mountain and to the God of grace.

Idol: of fetish-like convictions and leggoing my eggo

2009-02-12T14:25:00.005-06:00

I went to the rodeo last night. Thousands of people watching men and women of all ages ride, rope, chase, and sometimes evade bulls, horses, sheep and bucking quadrupeds of all kinds. Regardless of our technologies, there's something fascinating about watching fragile humans take on large animals in feats of resiliency and determination. At the end of various events the winner would ride around the floor behind a sponsored flag. I couldn't help but laugh watching a mighty cowboy parading around victoriously behind an Eggo-branded flag and rider! How macho is that - riding in the wake of Mr. Waffle?

Whether waffles are superior to pancakes, french toast or crepes is too great a matter for this forum. However, it is peculiar how enthusiastically committed both the victor cowboy and patron saint of waffle-land rode around in quasi-allegiance to the Eggo. I struggle with assenting to full allegiance to a national flag (I'm an alien here), but to embrace a brand, a food product?

Oswald Chambers was quoted as saying, "Don't make a fetish of your own convictions." The context is in regards to how easily we let a subject or opinion consume us to the point of being in competition for our full allegiance. We let simple (not necessarily insignificant) matters drive us to division, discord, distraction and subtle idolatry. The Sabbath matters more than the Messiah or His ancient mission of restoring shalom. The type of music and devices employed for worship shears communion of the saints. One humanitarian cause demands all other adherents to fully convert or be labeled as lacking compassion.

I believe "holy discontents" have a very real function...but am wary of how quietly a conviction can become a coup d'etat for allegiance, will and kingdoms. I pray my convictions - no matter how Godly - never usurp my devotion to His Kingdom, His will...on earth as it is Heaven.

Idol: All Except the One

2009-02-12T01:30:00.004-06:00

I feel like this topic has been hashed and rehashed in our fellowships so much that almost every believer in the West could tell you that an idol is "anything that takes a place above the Creator of heaven and earth." The word is so, ridiculously inclusive that it almost scares me. In truth, we created beings consistently run up against the problem of idolatry every day.

Trying to escape from idols is like scrambling away from a lion only to run into a bear cave.

We are constantly in danger of making people, places, things, ideas--heck, even gerunds, infinitives, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, pronouns--into idols (If your particular idol doesn't fit into one of the above grammatical categories, just stick it with the 'adverbs'. That's what we English majors do all the time.)

So, I can either spend a grievous amount of time trying to track all of the idols down and avoid or destroy them, living a very paranoid and frenetic life--and subsequently creating that stress for others. Or I can send my soul after the Source of Life, walking so closely to Him that He informs me at the appropriate time whenever I've got a high place that needs to be torn down.

Now, it's a tricky business, though, isn't it? To do what I just said. At the end of 1 John, the author tells his readers, "Little children, guard yourselves from idols." That seems to imply some sort of defensive action. I think maybe John would agree that we need to exalt Jesus just as He is given to us in the Gospels, following Him in simplicity. Many people who later found themselves following false teachings such as Gnosticism were possibly first attracted by all the stories from "extra-curricular" writings about Jesus' life as a young boy, stories that had no particular historical basis but only served to satisfy the curiosity of some. As soon as we add or take away anything from what we know to be true of Jesus as He is presented in the four Gospels, we open ourselves to a whole shmorgishboard of "make-your-own-salad" theology, which usually leads to the acceptance of things we may-not-term-but-are-in-fact idols--topped with an imposingly tart house vinaigrette.

The Suffering Servant had no terrifically handsome features that we should be attracted to Him. When we try to form Him into our ideas of good image, isn't that also idolatry?

Idol: Idols, Charms and Luck: A Jumbled Ball of Twine

2009-02-09T19:15:00.010-06:00

below is a composite grouping of so many things that we may classify as idols, good/bad luck charms and things that we believe present us with good/bad luck. isn't it funny how many times we rely on or run from so many arbitrary things in life depending on precedence, superstition, peer pressure, or political, social, or economical influence? do any of these hit home for you? what's you idol? when does something become more than just 'something'? what idol(s) are you trusting more that The Source?

rabbits foot, buddha statue, popularity, broken mirror, clothes, dream catchers, spilling the salt, garlic, alcohol, kabbalah bracelet, crack in the sidewalk, four-leaf clover, the pope, diamonds, an apple a day, rainbows, wishbone, opening an umbrella indoors, pornography, falling star, children, iphone, golden calf, lebron james, relationships, the 'perfect' body, walking under a ladder, barack obama, fortune cookies, horseshoe, tiki doll, black cat crossing your path, mistletoe, itchy palms, drugs, stray eyelash, the number '7', lottery tickets, owls, blarney stone, crossing your fingers, flat-panel plasma hdtv, american idol, sex, money, st. joseph statue, ravens, a heads up penny, friday the 13th, greed, san antonio spurs, number of friends on facebook, bmw, ladybugs, power, danelions, etc, etc, etc...

Idol: Of Hawaiian Tikis, Greg Brady's Surfing Accident, and Our Proclivity to Return to Karmic Lifestyles

2009-02-09T13:27:00.005-06:00

In episode 73 of the Brady Bunch, we learn that Mike Brady has been sent to Hawaii to check on a construction project for his architecture firm. The firm allows him to take the whole Brady clan with him, creating an impromptu vacation (and a three-episode journey away from the Astorturf lawn and shared bedrooms of Casa de Brady). Even the maid, Alice, joined in on the fun, although she was surely missing Sam the Butcher while she was gone.

Shortly after arriving in Hawaii, Bobby Brady discovers some sort of ancient tiki idol. All of the boys marvel at the idol and Greg Brady decides to wear it around his neck while surfing. As could be expected, he gets in a serious surfing accident and the beginning of the threads of the story that paints the idol as some sort of dark, magical, bad-luck charm is seen.

The plotline continues to the point that we, the audience, find ourselves in a cave, where the boys have been taken captive by some crazy professor of archaeology, who is convinced that the Brady Boys were out to hijack his latest “find”. Of course it all eventually works out - they have a Luau on the beach for good measure and everyone seems happy (except for Alice, who is most secretly yearning to get home to go bowling with Sam).

Looking back, this story arc was one of the more ridiculous of its kind in television history. It was as if the writers watched a few too many Scooby Doo episodes (nefarious yet well-intentioned professors, kids stumbling into trouble, an implausibly clean happy ending) and suddenly decided that such a storyline might work in live-action TV. Even for the Brady Bunch, the tiki stuff was far-fetched.

And yet, look around. We are awash in our own tiki idols, in our own self-made fantasy of good and evil, taboo and luck. We cling to things that we feel good about and dispose of the things around which bad experiences form. We live like our life is this boomerang, careening back to us with blessings or burdens depending on with what intentions we threw it.

I have a neighbor who wants a new car because the current one has “bad vibes”. Might it simply be a bad driver? I know a few folks who are thinking of trading in their marriage, thinking that some bad karma seeped in while they were sleeping. Maybe marriage is just hard work and no one adequately explained that. How many of our donations to causes around the world are directly tied to some idea that we are going to be cosmically paid back for them at some point. In our society, we give to get. If only could see the reality: We get to give.

Until we take hold of the Truth that Christ ushered us into a post-karmic world, we’re doomed to a life of fantasy – of mojo and karma, of vibes and taboos. We will continue to seek the things that lead to righteousness, while our eyes and ears fail to see and hear that a new righteousness has been bestowed upon us.

Anyway, sometimes a surfing accident is just a surfing accident. No tiki necessary.

IDOL: Past & Present: all the same

2009-02-08T19:50:00.005-06:00

It used to be that an Idol was something we bowed down to worship...you know the drill...with one half of a log we carve something to bow to, make our requests known, worship...and with the other half we make a fire to roast wieners...

Now we want to be the IDOL...rockstardom....have people worship us as if we were more than wiener wood...

The root of both seems to be that we have a "place"...that we know our position...that we are affirmed in our existence...

Perhaps the most dangerous IDOL s the one closest to "looking like" the only worship-worthy being of the universe...the Creator God. Its dangerous to be "having a form of God..."

What is the point of "religion" if it does not serve to bring us into relationship with our Creator God? It may give us a feeling of belonging, an affirmation of position...an innoculation...

"...seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart..."

There is no room for substitutes...no half-truths, no innoculations...no wiener wood.

My Greatest Fear: Surely I Can't Be the First to Say "Being Alone"?

2009-02-08T06:44:00.003-06:00

There's a song by Don Chaffer that I wish I remembered the name to.
In it, he says the following:

"... I don't think I've ever wanted as much to be free as I long to be known.
Of all the things that I hate when I look at my life, the worst is my being alone."

That's it for me: being alone.
I'm aware that in light of the existence of G-d and His desire to be with us and for us to be with Him, this fear may be easily dismissed... at least it may be in moments of strong faith.
But, to be honest, my assurance of this fact comes few and far between.

A good friend of mine once told me that he'd come to the conclusion that no one could ever know him so completely as G-d, not even his wife. However hard you try to open yourself up to a friend, family member, or spouse, at the end of the day when you lay your head down on that pillow, it's just you and Him. But, can you imagine how it might feel to not have even that?

My first few months in China were unbelievably lonely. I knew absolutely no one. I was introduced to a few different people, but because I came alone and not as part of some organization, suspicion kept others at a distance from me. Could I be trusted? The deep secrets of my heart would have to remain with me. I had no choice but to cry out to the Father for consolation. Consolation also felt few and far between. I held on to the smallest pieces of Word for dear life.

Then, a month or so passed and my parents sent me a care package (I love that word, don't you? "care package"). In it was a CD by Jason Upton and on the CD was a song called "You're Never Alone, Martin". It was inspired by an experience of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. He was up late in his kitchen one night, unable to sleep, praying. And he basically said something like, "Lord, I've spent all this time fighting for what I think is right, for justice and equality and everything that You stand for. And still there are people that hate me. I just need to know that I'm not alone, that You're with me. Please, Lord. Please."
And then as he wept quietly, he heard a voice that said, "You're never alone, Martin. You're never alone. I'll never leave you."

Man, what a reassurance, huh? I crave that.

My Greatest Fear: Comfort

2009-02-07T23:42:00.010-06:00

I fear comfort. Or, perhaps more specifically, that a desire for what's comfortable will be greater than my desire to be obedient.

A comfort that leads to selfishness...not wanting to give up a life that's easy, to serve my Savior as he calls...to serve my neighbors.

I fear that I will choose the path of least resistance...because it's more comfortable.

I fear that comfort will lead me to a place of complacency that leaves me paralyzed to react to the needs of those around me...to the least of these (Matthew 25:31-46)

I fear that the temptation of comfort will leave me hard hearted and without compassion for the broken and hurting.

I fear that comfort in the things of this world will keep me from saying, like Paul..."I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and to be found in him." Philippians 3:8&9

But, I rest in the promise that, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness...and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." 2 Peter 3

because Jesus' love still moves me out of my comfort for these...

My Greatest Fear: Married to One of These

2009-02-06T16:41:00.003-06:00

Starlets terrify me. People seem to be fascinated by their lives, as evinced by the proliferation of voyeuristic media parading as news and the pop culture conversations I’ve had the misfortune to hear. But can you actually imagine being married to one of these women? Personally, I’d much prefer waterboarding. And I’m not just talking about the Hollywood glamorati, but any woman whose principle occupation is herself and whose greatest ambition in life is to remain “hot.” Solomon had a word for these kinds of women: harlots, and in Proverbs he warns of what can be expected of harlots and contentious women:

For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for the precious life (6:26). It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman (21:9). It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman (21:19). For a harlot is a deep pit and an adulterous woman is a narrow well (23:27). A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike (23:25).

In my life I’ve had two recurring nightmares that I can remember. The first involves being chased by a giant pumpkin which I couldn’t outrun no matter how hard I tried (don’t go all Freudian on me – sometimes a pumpkin is just a pumpkin). The second involves standing in a church on my wedding day as the massive sanctuary doors slam shut and I’m faced with my future bride… and she’s a shallow, self-absorbed, contentious nag. And we’re married for forever. FOR. EV. ER! Guess which one scares me more? I’ll give you a hint: I never woke in a cold sweat after a pumpkin chase. God save me from such a fate!

My Greatest Fear: Clowns

2009-02-04T23:20:00.003-06:00

Truly. But also, seriously...

My Greatest Fear: Living a life out of balance

I tend to question the balance in my life quite often. I fear living a life that was not balanced in a way that is pleasing to my Father. The questions come…

- Am I spending enough time with my wife? She deserves it and our relationship is the foundation of all our other relationships.
- Am I spending enough time with my kids? They don't need my money, they need me.
Am I instructing them the way I 'should'? May they be like trees planted near streams of living water…
- Do I love the LORD more than my wife and children? Really? Honestly?
- Am I spending enough time in prayer/study/worship/service/etc?
- Am I studying enough for school? Am I studying too much? I certainly need to take advantage of the opportunity for advanced education.
- Am I working hard enough at my career? Not everyone has a job. I know what it is like to be looking for work. If I work extremely hard, will my efforts be rewarded? Is the reward what matters or should I work for other reasons?
- What about me? Do I need 'me' time?

There are many more questions than this, but I think the fear comes from the contemplation of the balancing act. Ultimately, I think we are all tasked with stewardship of limited resources. Summarily, I am left petitioning the Creator to increase my faithfulness as a steward of time, talent, treasure, truth, and relationships. The circus-like balancing act of life is not something for us to tackle alone. We practice and ultimately seek divine Providence to choose the right plates to spin, how to keep them spinning, and when it is OK to let some fall.

My Greatest Fear: Being the World’s Most Aware (Abalone)

2009-02-03T17:45:00.001-06:00

There is a woman who sits outside of the abortion clinic near my house. She has a sign that says “Abortion Kills Children”. And she sits there all day and shames the people going in and out. She is, in a sense, raising awareness. And her sign is correct. But would her life be better used in taking the awareness she has and applying it by volunteering at a crisis center or adoption/counseling hotline? Eight hours a day on the sidewalk and four more hours a day on her knees, fervently pleading for God to move…when all she has to do is put her sign down and move herself.

Her motives are good – she just got stuck on awareness.

When I moved to South Africa in 2004, I had no idea how severe the AIDS crisis was, not to mention the malaria problem and the starvation issue…and over the next few years the world was educated along with me as we learned about the incredible scope of the problem together. Artists and celebrities began to champion the cause of Africa, we bought shirts that donated the profits to Africa, we signed petitions, we even donated money when American Idol took up the cause…we were aware!

Then, a new movement started to rise up. Ever heard of “going green”? All of the sudden, everything was about being green, going green, and doing green (which may or may not be a drug). Africa resumed its position as the world’s alm-seeker and we moved on, figuring that all of our recently-acquired awareness surely helped make the world a better place for Africans.

Did it? Nope.

Tens of thousands of African children will die today, simply because they are hungry and there is no food. 6000 will die from a preventable, treatable disease caused by a little virus known as HIV. 3000 will die because a mosquito carrying malaria bit them.

This is not about activism. It is merely a plea for activity. We spend 90% of our lives becoming more aware and only 10% in any form of activity. Think about. Crunch the numbers. We are a 90/10 people. We ingest unbelievable amounts of information from books, television, radio, and the internet. We get more and more education every year, the baseline standard ever rising. We join causes on Facebook and wear t-shirts proclaiming that some form of awareness will topple the world's injustices. And we never really lift a finger to change anything.

So where do we go? Maybe, we start by praying differently. What if, instead of saying, “God please meet the needs of world’s broken and dying” we prayed, “God use me to meet the needs of the world’s broken and dying.”

We have all of the awareness we need. We now need to be a people that acts upon it.

On earth as it is in heaven...

My Greatest Fear - Heights and "A Wasted Life"

2009-02-03T11:19:00.004-06:00

My initial reaction to greatest fear has been, is, and probably always will be heights. I am that whimpering, nervous, white knuckled person on planes. I cannot stand the thought of peering out over an abyss or chasm. I come by this fear honestly, as my grandfather would lean (in the car) away from drop-offs on mountain roads even if we were hundreds of feet away from the edge, and also even if he was driving (I still laugh thinking about that)!! He would avoid bridges if possible, and when he was at the Grand Canyon, he stayed a good 100 yards from the edge! I have always said that I know what it feels like when I fall from my height (6'7") so I don't want to know from any higher.

After the calming effect of a period of contemplation and introspection, I identified my true greatest fear, and it needs some explanation. My sister is an attorney, and of course, spends quite a bit of time in front of judges. She related a story about a judge's rant she observed while waiting for her trial to begin. The judge was sentencing a habitual and chronic drunk driver on his third (I think) offense, who had killed someone and injured others. It had been revealed that this man drank himself into oblivion almost constantly. Due to his addiction, he had lost his family because they could not subject themselves to seeing him slowly kill himself and to endure any more of the constant emotional and mental abuse. He lost his job, his house, his friends, basically everything because of the demon in a bottle. He stood before the judge, a broken, empty shell of the man he once was. Before he was bitten by the bottle, he had everything, a loving family with children and a pretty wife, a well paying and prestigious job, good friends, a bright future, all brought down because of his inner desire's insatiability. The judge, angry and I am sure perplexed at the state of this man, looked down at him and stated,"You, sir, are guilty of many things. You are guilty of hurting, maiming, and finally, even killing. You are guilty of breaking the law, and, for this, you will be punished. Most of all, you are guilty of a wasted life." And then, he was sentenced to the maximum allowed by the laws of that state. There it is, my greatest fear, to be guilty of a wasted life.

That story always stirred the deep set fears within me. It hit home because I am the child of an alcoholic, and I have seen those demons and their power, so that element is very frightening. However, the idea of wasting my life frightens me to the core of my being. God has given us this gift of life. A chance to live, to love, to make friends, and to experience Him and spread His Eternal Kingdom in this temporal realm. He has blessed us immensely, and desires to know us, and to allow us to have life even more abundantly than we can fathom. He wants to use our lives, and to empower us to use them for His glory, to use them to the fullest. Yet, many decide to waste it, chasing after booze, drugs, money, status, material things, and the myriad of other false trappings of this world. I think this story hits me because when we stand before our Creator, there are really only two options and two responses - "Well done, my good and faithful servant!! Come and share your Master's happiness!" - that is, you have live a full life. The other - "You wicked, lazy servant. Away from me!!" - in other words, the Just Judge has sentenced, "You, sir, are guilty of a wasted life." Can we stand before Him and know fully that we have used our lives to the fullest for His Kingdom? Will we present ourselves confidently, knowing that He was with us, and we were willing and able to be used? Or will be stand as broken empty shells of the people that we could have been? I pray that I am willing. I pray that we are willing. I pray that we all can hear "come and share" rather than "away from me." I desire that all lead full lives, abiding in the Most High. I pray that no one will be guilty of a wasted life.

My Greatest Fear: Eternity

2009-02-02T22:15:00.003-06:00

"I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank Piña Coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day.Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over..."

-Phil Connors, Groundhog Day

In homage to the movie Groundhog Day on this February the 2nd, I will share that my greatest fear is not snakes, nor failing to live a fulfilled life on earth, or even death for that matter, rather I fear the sweet promise of eternal paradise that I would be so lucky to be granted. Is there something wrong with me? I actually fear the Virgin Islands episode recurring as much as I would being stuck in cold Punxsutawney. I am accustomed to a beginning and end, so I have trouble trying to comprehend an eternal sequence or loop. I actually get physically anxious just thinking about it. Even if I lived in a world filled with love and compassion, I know that the sweet is never as sweet without the sour. How could I appreciate sweet moments of friendship and love without conflict, or a relaxing evening after a long day of work, or a beautiful sunrise without following the long darkness of night. Will God have enough variation for me in this eternity? I know that sounds selfish, but as a human I strive for something new...even if it isn't better than what I have right now.

In the movie, Groundhog Day, Phil finally awakens to a new day after "perfecting" his Groundhog Day by helping others and growing as a person. However, when he finally awakens, he is still ecstatic about a new day upon him. He just made the most out of Feb. 2nd he possibly could, yet he was so excited to begin a different day. That's what I worry about. I don't worry about tomorrow (or life after death) being positive/negative, I worry about it being different. I worry about the eternal return. But I pray and hope that just as I can't comprehend eternity, I can't comprehend God's love and what he has in store for me. I wait anxiously and optimistically.

Some thoughts from Nietzsche...

What if a demon were to creep after you one day or night, in your loneliest loneness, and say: "This life which you live and have lived, must be lived again by you, and innumerable times more. And mere will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and every sigh— everything unspeakably small and great in your life—must come again to you, and in the same sequence and series__" Would you not throw your self down and curse the demon who spoke to you thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment, in which you would answer him: "Thou art a god, and never have I heard anything more divine!" [The Gay Science (1882), p. 341 (passage translated in Danto 1965, p. 210).]

My Greatest Fear: Being “That Guy”

2009-02-02T16:22:00.004-06:00

we’ve all seen “that guy”. he shops at the same supermarkets as us. he fills up right next to us at the gas station. he even attends our church services. who knows, perhaps someone reading this right now is “that guy”.

“that guy” is the person who doesn’t quite dress the right way, use the right words or deliver the right actions on a consistent basis. he’s a little off… a bit different… doesn’t fit the mold that is easy on the eyes of society. “that guy” is a bit rough around the edges, shy, awkward, rude, or insecure. that guy may even feel like he lives his life under a microscope in the public eye, being judged with every step or action.

now, my greatest fear isn’t being “that guy”, but having the hypocritical heart and mind to so quickly point out who he is. unfortunately, i feel i face my greatest fear all too often. and when i do that, being “that guy” doesn’t seem so bad afterall.

My Greatest Fear: being fully consumed

2009-02-01T08:11:00.004-06:00

Great fears always tend to have roots in self. However, Davide rightly captured the great driver of fears in the posting on "me." That really could be parsed and sliced into 5-6 separate posts, but I will discipline myself to not just draft his idea down the bloody turnpike...

Perhaps the unspoken fear that has tormented me the most is that of being fully consumed by the all-powerful, living God. The Bible describes God as an "all-consuming fire" and a jealous persona who desires nothing short of 100%. It's part of His awe-someness but also the real terror when you find your "own" life, identity, agenda and will being the fodder for this fire.

There have been numerous times in my spiritual journey when I became uniquely aware of the loss of self happening as I was being quickened to a "not I who lives but Christ in me" point of abandon. Quite honestly it is terrifying. Call it the cost of discipleship, call it full surrender, call it whatever - there's something scary about handing over the reins of your life, of becoming a vassal of a King...even one you trust entirely.

This fear - of not just being an ally but truly an employed vassal - has led me to intentionally sabotage the progression. Yes, I've tossed proverbial wrenches in the gears of my sanctification in order to stall and assess if I was really ready to be fully consumed. Perhaps it's why I felt affinity for Augustine so much, who transparently journaled, "O Lord, help me to be pure...but not yet."

My greatest fear is also the greatest handicap in life...a fear that immobilizes when approaching the perceived tipping point after which divine inertia will surpass personal ability to control acceleration or navigation. As if I ever did truly possess such powers!

My Greatest Fear: Me

2009-02-01T00:36:00.000-06:00

I joke around lots about temporal fears such as sharks, snakes and salsa (the "dancing" variety)...there are many more...likely more that start with "s" as well...most of them have the potential for pain or even death...

Yet, there are worse things in life than dying.

Created for relationship with an eternal personal God...granted the ability to choose, which is of course the foundation for love...invited into this relationship through Jesus, who is substance and evidence...making knowledge of faith...the "real God (stood) up"...

That I would use this choice to walk away from the source of my life...loving the creation while ignoring the Creator...is inconceivable...and it terrifies me...

Nothing can separate me from God's love, except me...

Victory: In the Bag

2009-02-01T00:02:00.000-06:00

My good friends went on vacation recently and left me to watch their house and two cats. Have you ever watched a cat playing with a toy mouse?... Like, by itself? Not 'you holding the mouse-on-a-string,' but the cat just going after it? Maybe if you've ever seen Will Ferrell's demo tape for SNL you have an idea of what I'm talking about.

So, this one cat does just that. Pretty entertaining to watch. He picks the thing up with his paws, throws it into the air, pounces on it, dangles it over the edge of the couch (by himself, mind you) with one paw and then goes in for the kill with the other. All of this and the result is always the same... the cat wins.

I think that our battle with the flesh/old man (or whatever you wanna call it) is kind of like this. In Romans chapter 6, Paul writes "knowing this, that our old self was crucified with [Jesus], in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; for he who has died is freed from sin." The phrase "done away with" does not actually mean that "our body of sin" is totally destroyed. The Greek word means something more like "rendered powerless" or "made impotent" (If you've heard Jeff Harris on this topic you probably already know that).
Now, there is no way that anyone would take you seriously if you told them, "Yeah, my cat got beat up by his toy mouse the other day. Pretty bad. Walking with a limp and EVERYTHING." Why is that? Because the mouse has no real power. Victory is already guaranteed for the cat. The only power that that mouse has is the power that the cat attributes to it.

In the same way, we're told later on in Romans 6 and 8 to live by this new law of the spirit, one that has superceded that of sin and death. Reality has changed. Man, it's so hard to take that in, isn't it? Reality has changed because of Jesus' death, because of His conquering sin and death through resurrection. Every battle that we will ever fight for the rest of our lives--against the accuser, against the old man, against the spiritual forces in this world--victory is already GUARANTEED. We are more than conquerors through Him! If I could only let that reality sink in and stick!

"Don't you know that to whomever you present yourselves as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey?" I feel like I've been in some kind of stupor. Why do I present myself to the paralyzed man as his slave? Why do I fight with the mouse and struggle as if it has some power over me?

Every victory in the spirit, EVERY VICTORY, is already in the bag.
It's just that sometimes I think that I really want to lose.

"For thus the LORD G-d, the Holy One of Israel, has said,
'In repentance and rest you will be saved.
In quietness and trust is your strength,'
But you were now willing.
And you said, 'No, for we will flee on horses,'
Therefore you shall flee!
'And we will ride on swift horses,'
Therefore those who pursue you shall be swift!" Isaiah 30:15-16

Victory: Not Without Sacrifice

2009-02-01T00:01:00.000-06:00

The moment of victory is the pinnacle, climax, culmination of much hard work, passion, devotion and…sacrifice.

I love…LOVE the Olympics!

I get enthralled in them every two years. Everything about it…The musical theme (it get’s stuck in my head). So many countries (I will admit, some I’ve never heard of) coming together to compete in the sport they love and have worked hours on end perfecting… striving for victory. I love and I’m moved by the stories of, “overcoming the odds” and some even competing for a better life for their families. Stories of victory in the face of political upheaval and countries at war. Fighting for victory, but not without cost.
Stories like Jesse Owens, who achieved gold in the face of Nazi racism. Or, Abebe Bikila. The Ethiopian who won a marathon…barefooted, and then returned to defend and reclaim his title. Nadia Comaneci, the Romanian, first to score perfect 10. In 1980 was the “Miracle on Ice,” when the US hockey team beat the Soviets. And, of course,…Michael Phelps. The Olympian to win the most gold medals. I’m not so obsessed that I have a “ Phelps Phan” T-shirt, but I would say that what he did is awe-inspiring. I was jumping in my living room, yelling at the TV as I watched him win by a length of time that’s just barely able to be calculated. What victory! But, not without sacrifice. I saw an interview with his coach, Bob Bowmen, talking about how much he has missed for the sake of reaching this goal set when he was 11. To basically eat, swim and sleep. But…it was worth the reward.

I love these stories for obvious reasons. They’re great stories of man striving and sacrificing to achieve great victory. I also love these stories for how they move and ignite me. To think of living my life the same way. ..to run with endurance the race set before me. The one my God has called me to. To strive and sacrifice my plans and selfishness for the sake of a greater reward. The reward of walking in victory over sin and death because Jesus paid my debt on the cross.

Victory…comes only after sacrifice.

Victory: Station

2009-01-29T15:00:00.002-06:00

I know that we had a recent "mass transit" posting. However, the first thing that comes to mind when I hear "victory" is Victory Station in Dallas.

I hope to someday be able to take a train to a Spurs game in San Antonio and get off at a station right next to the arena. It is a simple wish.

Victory: an idea whose time has come

2009-01-28T21:42:00.003-06:00

What struck me first about the prompt is how “strong” the word was and how open to interpretation a definition of the word could be. Nevertheless, I do enjoy the broadness afforded to me in the “openness” of the topic.

When people think of victory they are inserting the term into their own situation. So, is the “victory” relating to a triumphing in a personal struggle……a business situation……an addictive habit? Or is victory rather, or more fully explained through the victory, or triumphing, of an idea or ideal?

An example: when you quite smoking you say “I’m victorious” (please add a “booyah” in there too, for good measure). So this is a victory, but what kind of victory? I am suggesting that it is a victory of an idea. In this sense, the idea being deliberated by the individual is, “will smoking cut short my life and is the enjoyment of smoking worth it?” I would add that the individual is considering the cost/benefit analysis before following through with his actions.

However the individual is “defeated” then the “enjoyment argument” outweighs the “life cut short argument.” What strikes me most about victory, in this sense, is the zero sum gain. By straight definition if someone/something/some idea is “victorious” someone/something/some idea must be “defeated”. I would suggest this is where we get the “drive” to be victorious as we know the outcome already if we are not.

Additionally, it struck me that “victory” is most commonly declared by someone with certain “point in time biases” that I am not entirely comfortable with. If I may use the example already mentioned, say the person who quits claims victory….fair enough. But what happens when they are “defeated” in 3 years time? How can you claim victory at a point in time if there is a possibility of later being defeated? Please note, this is a clearly defined situation and there are observable inputs, i.e. from the time you quit smoking until you die you wouldn’t be able to claim victory, for certain, over smoking. However, by strict definition you are, in fact, victorious. I would suggest that the “struggle” defines how long the timeframe needs to be in order for an unbiased observer to truly declare victory (or defeat).

To gain some insight from another vantage point we could use the technique I’m going to call “anti” (I believe this technique was used by the Scholastics, it has a good Latin phrase…I just cannot for the life of me remember it), i.e. we cannot define victory properly without also defining it as “not defeat”. So, anything that is “not defeat” would, ergo, be considered a victory.

Applying this concept to my suggestion – victory is defined by way of one idea beating out another – we find that if the person who has been “defeated”, i.e. he hasn’t quit smoking (in the short term), but hasn’t given up on the idea of quitting he has de facto the ability to claim victory as the idea has won the day. I would suggest that the idea of quitting in his mind is “victorious” and by association, he is victorious. This thought, of course, goes slightly “left” if the individual continues to smoke and subsequently dies. However, I would suggest that the idea never truly won…….ahh, I digress.

So, what is in an idea? As I have argued, quite a lot. For good or for ill, an idea can hold sway over one person, an entire nation or even the world.

In any case, I have attached some quotes that ya’ll might find of interest.

“An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all”., Oscar Wilde

“To act on the belief that we possess the knowledge and the power which enables us to shape the process of society entirely to our liking, knowledge which in fact we do not possess, is likely to make us do much harm”., F.A. Hayek

“Society has arisen out of the works of peace; the essence of society is peacemaking. Peace and not war is the father of all things”., Ludwig von Mises

Victory: stream of question-ness

2009-01-28T18:27:00.004-06:00

What does it look like to have victory?
Who is victorious?
Do you have to write the history books as the victor?
Couldn't you leave that to the defeated?
What responsibility do you have to the defeated?
If you get to make the rules are you the victor?
How many do you need to make to be victorious over an issue?
Is victory fuller or more hollow in a split decision as opposed to a shut-out?
Is total victory more or less victorious than near defeat?
Is defeat victory if the goal was reached?
If the end is victory, what of the means?
Was it shopping victoriously or just shopping?
Is scoreboard all that matters?
Is there a scoreboard in life? Heaven? Hell? Thursday's commute?
What's your score?
Who's keeping it?
Are you winning?
What victory can you claim as yours?
Did you earn it?
When did you claim it?

Do I live my life in degrees of victory or with the reality of Total Victory?

Victory - From the Jaws of Defeat

2009-01-28T15:28:00.003-06:00

Over the course of my athletic career, spanning from elementary school through college, I participated in over a thousand sporting events. I have tasted the sweetness of victory, and also drank the bitterness of its counterpart, defeat. I stood tall as my teams won districts, regions, sub-states, and participated in state championships. I have hoisted banners, and hosted NCAA games. If my arithmetic is correct, I have, in basketball, a .800 lifetime winning percentage. Personally, I received the accolades that a fairly accomplished player usually merits, All-Star teams, All-State/Region/District, Player of the Week/Month, All-Tournament etc. All those victories and prizes never really fostered the improvement that perfecting my craft required. They usually just resulted in the growth of my ego and our collective team ego. They also set me (and my teammates) up for some shocking defeats due to lack of preparation or improvement. My most profound lessons were learned in the wake of my most staggering defeats, after failing and losing, and these continue to this day.

I was always told after defeat to hold my head high, as we had given it our all, so we had nothing to be ashamed for nor any reason to lower our gaze. There were many angry nights, wondering what went wrong, why did that happen, and when would it get better. However, I always learned from my defeats. My coaches would show tapes, review the busted plays, missed assignments, lost opportunities to gain an advantage, and other shortfalls that led to the defeat. And from these, we would usually grow as players. In the essence of a phoenix, we would rise from the ashes of our losses, and improve to win. We would practice harder, lift more weight, run just one more lap or sprint, groove our shots with more shooting, and prepare more thoroughly. It was, basically, because of our losses that we were successful. Without those shortfalls and lessons, the improvements would never have been made. Or perhaps my coaches would have tried to show what we needed to do, yet their supplications would have fallen on deaf ears, because we had been winning, so what did we need to learn? But after those tortuous defeats, oftentimes by "lesser" foes, we were hungry, willing, and able to listen, to learn, and to grow.

In my post-athletic life, this truism still is "played out." When I mess up, which is often, this is when my personal growth occurs. God, as my "coach," shows me where I need to shore up my defense, or improve my play making ability, and, because I know my weakness, I am able to listen, to learn, and to grow. He uses His Word, the words of others, the lives of others, and just His still, small voice to show me where I need to grow, and how to do it. But, if I hadn't had the defeat, I would not be ready and prepared for the victories that will be coming. As many have said, at the mountaintop is not where things are growing, it is in the depths of the valleys where growth occurs. I guess the lesson is to not wait for the defeat. Use your time on this earth wisely, and let your growth be constant. Let God show you where you need to grow, where you need to improve, and where His presence needs to be made known, in your life, and the lives of those He puts in your path.

Victory: Simple and Effective

2009-01-27T10:43:00.008-06:00

when i hear the word victory, my mind immediately jumps to thoughts of celebrating a win in a sporting event. i’m sure almost all of us have experienced that type of emotion at some point throughout the course of our lives…hopefully many times. i can still recall that adrenaline rush, that sense of accomplishment, the payoff for the weeks and months of hard work and sacrifice. those moments create memories that we’re sure to remember long after the game is over.

but what about when the games are over…what happens then? when we’ve moved on from that chapter in our lives but the desire to compete and the thirst for winning is still there. how do we quench that thirst?

well, i believe that the victory is still there…but the payoff comes in different forms. it could come as a promotion at work. after months and months of hard work and dedication to your employer, the payoff arrives. or perhaps a college graduation ceremony and diploma is your reward for several (perhaps 13) long years of sacrifice and persistence.

or, what if victory was something much simpler. what if we took joy in the small achievements that make up the larger. how about a simple “thank you”, or a pat on the back for a job well done. i don’t know about you, but i can’t think of many things more gratifying than someone acknowledging the effort. it’s amazing how something so simple (and free) can be so effective.

Victory: A Moral One

2009-01-26T21:03:00.004-06:00

Not failure, but low aim, is crime.

-James Russell Lowell

In sports, we often refer to a moral victory - one in which the accomplishment is not dependent on the final score or who crosses the finish line, but an intangible achievement that is worth celebrating. It could be an athlete who overcame insurmountable odds to just compete in the race, a lackluster team that showed signs of improvement and camaraderie, or a personal achievement in a losing team effort. But you won't find moral victory trophies or hall of fames, yet people still cling to these subjective victories. I'm all for moral victories - finding something positive when one exerts great effort, yet not winning the game or finishing first. BUT, we still need to recognize someone won the game and someone lost.

As "millenials" or "Gen Y" or whatever you want to call a somewhat arbitrary age cohort recently entered the workforce, we heard complaints about this generation's work ethic. They are lazy, spoiled, entitled, and need constant recognition and praise. Many people say they need a pat on the back and a "thank you" just for showing up to the job they are paid to do. This group contends that the organization needs to accommodate their needs rather than the other way around. While I think that the older generation's complaint of the young's work ethic has persisted throughout time, I don't think that this is something we should ignore. Some people explain that this entitlement attitude comes from a childhood filled with "participation" ribbons and trophies, no grades in school, lowered achievement standards. I remember receiving several 6th, 7th, 8th place swimming ribbons - granted they were purple, brown, or black - but I got them anyway because I tried. We gave everyone an "A" or "B" or even avoided giving grades at all to avoid hurting a youngster's self-esteem. Yet when they entered the "real world" they noticed some people didn't get into college, or get a job, or close a business deal, or reach an objective goal - but everyone...should...win...what?! Which left them perplexed, agitated, and yes - defeated.

So I propose we promote personal growth, encourage group effort, recognize progress, avoid imposing goals on others, but also not fill our youth with unrealistic visions of a world with blue ribbons and trophies for everyone. Maybe then we can all share a moral victory.

Victory: Is An Illusion...Or How I Learned to Stop Setting Goals and Love the Mission

2009-01-26T08:36:00.002-06:00

I did so poorly in my first year in University that I was forced to take a course called “Studying Skills”, which could have been called, “If you don’t start taking stuff this seriously you are going to be kicked out of school, you idiot.”.

One of the main themes of the course was goal-setting, something that has never been a particular strength of mine. We were told to set reachable goals and then strive for them. Reachable goals? What kind of challenge is that?

The idea was that I could artificially motivate myself to do better by tricking myself into working towards arbitrary benchmarks of success. It was a course in the art of self-manipulation. (Note: Do not Google that phrase.)

In a world where we see the value of dangling the carrot in front of the mule, we contend that, as humans, we must occasionally sneak a bite of the carrot if we are to continue trekking. This is goal-setting. This is our concept of motivation. And, apparently, it is psychologically necessary for humans to perform.

I have always been more of a fan of mission statements than goals. Mission statements are intrinsically unreachable, the equivalent of placing the carrot so far in front of the mule so as to kill any hope that it might really be caught and eaten. They are almost better described as ideals in the sense that they set a course but never a quantifiable destination. They are generally ambiguous and subjective in nature, promising to be “the best in the industry” or pushing to be “a leader in the field”.

I work for a company with the stated mission that we are to “...to solve the logistical needs of our customers by moving products where and when they want them better than anyone else.” That is our mission. How can we accomplish that? I would argue that we can’t. We can strive for it, but it is an open-ended idea without timeline or expiration date. The moment we rest on the supposed completion of the mission is the moment that someone else takes advantage of our complacency and becomes better. Hence, we are no longer “better than anyone else”.

Let's take it to the next level. The US State Department’s mission is to “Create a more secure, democratic, and prosperous world for the benefit of the American people and the international community”. Seriously? Is that all? Just a more secure, democratic, and prosperous world for everybody? Okay. The mission only extends to the people of America and the "international community". If an alien race arrives on earth, we will not be required to consider them - well, as long as they haven't organized themselves into nation-states thereby giving them inclusion in the "international community"...

I actually love the statement, though, because it sets the bar ridiculously high. It also clearly defines the "Commander’s Intent", the filter with which to make all decisions. The statement is wonderfully difficult in that, like all other missions, it can never be considered fully accomplished.

I walk through life stumbling towards a similarly unreachable mission: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.”

I can never stand in front of a banner claiming “Mission Accomplished” on that one. I can, however, consistently measure my heart and actions against the mission that I have been called to. I can be reminded of the filter with which I am to view and respond to the world. I can press on, unsatisfied by the artificially-pleasing bites of carrot and unfulfilled by the arbitrary benchmarks that allow me to relax and rest in my pre-disposed mediocrity. Instead, I press on towards the unattainable, knowing that glory is found in the mission itself, not in the accomplishment thereof.

Victory: Patterns or Completion

2009-01-25T21:15:00.002-06:00

To one who has struggled to be the person he or she wanted to be...but has found that after MANY years of struggle that (you) did not possess the ability to overcome within yourself...the phrase "patterns of victory" could became a lifeline. You simply look to each day and hope for something better than the last...maybe longer periods in between defeat...

To quit is to self-determine defeat, but what hope is there to break through? How does one direct energy at the same vained efforts, to reform or to mature, that brought about no change in the past?

It would seem logical that victory would be secured through greater effort, and totally ridiculous that it could ever be achieved through less...and yet that is where I have arrived.

R + R + Q + T = S2

R & R is the formula for victory over the past...

Q & T the formula for victory in the future...

Isaiah 30:15..."In Repentance and Rest is your Salvation; in Quietness and Trust your Strength."

Illogical...yes...and I have no way to explain its power - simply that I have never felt greater peace.

Victory: just do what exactly?

2009-01-25T11:49:00.004-06:00

One of the worlds greatest brands is based upon the Greek goddess of victory. Romans called her Victoria, Americans named a forward base in Iraq after the idea, and the achievement of victory has been proclaimed by countless icons throughout history. But what is it, exactly? When is victory actually achieved?

Victory was declared by the Treaty of Ghent between the United States and Great Britain on Christmas Eve, 1814...but for weeks battles continued to rage across the NA continent because communication didn't reach the front lines. The entire Battle of New Orleans was fought post-victory. How odd to find out you fought, possibly picked up battle wounds and "won" a battle in a war that was already over!

Recently departed President George W. Bush was peppered with ridicule for declaring "victory" aboard a US aircraft carrier early into the Operation Iraqi Freedom campaign, years before waves of combat casualties subsided. The "head of the snake" had been removed, but the conflict was still in full swing. Was it victory?

D-Day, V-Day, so many claims of victory. Yet, aftershocks of conflict remain...

Paul reassures the young Jesus freaks of Corinth that "Death has lost its victory...God has given us victory over sin and death through Jesus." What does that mean? John the Revelator recorded at his Patmos Retreat Center an apocalyptic Jesus saying that "all who are victorious will sit with me..."

The swoosh people tell us to "just do it," but just do what exactly? Live victoriously? Attempt victory? Live as if the victory is ours?

Art: Austin Rapid Transit

2009-01-23T12:39:00.005-06:00

In my previous life as an Austin-American, I used to daydream about the perfect mass transit system. After a fair bit of research, I settled on monorail as the best option and began reviewing proposed alignment maps from a number of organizations, including the now defunct Austin Monorail Project. I even came up with the perfect branding for the various transit corridors: the BLUEBONNET LINE, the BURNT ORANGE LINE, the GREEN BELT LINE, the RED RIVER LINE, and the YELLOW ROSE LINE. Alas, Capital Metro chose light rail as the preferred transit method (I blame the powerful Light Rail Lobby for this injustice). Despite my initial misgivings, after my daily traffic battle on I-35, I soon warmed to the idea of any form of mass transit. I probably would have voted for a sky-based mass transit system using a series of hydrogen-filled dirigibles - I was that desperate (Oh, the humanity!).

The vote in 2000 was pretty close, but in the end, people of sad, dreamless ambition won the day. Having since moved to San Antonio, I haven’t followed Capital Metro’s new commuter rail initiative that closely, especially since I’m not all that concerned with Leanderites’ ability to enjoy Austin’s charms while failing to pay Austin’s taxes. More recently, I’ve dreamt about high-speed rail service between Texas’ major population centers. I considered stealing the branding from Austin’s downtown bus circuit and christening this rail service the ‘DILLO, in honor of the official state mammal of Texas. However, given the sophomoric humor of graffiti taggers, and the relative ease with which they can convert ‘L’s to ‘D’s, I’ve since reconsidered this branding. Of course, with the death of Perry’s Trans Texas Corridor, it doesn’t appear that high-speed rail is in our immediate future anyway. Turns out it was more of a Shelbyville idea…

Art: a battle

2009-01-22T23:04:00.003-06:00

I work in a poor part of town. I'm in the car a lot. I see a lot of this city that many of the people I know outside of work never see. I love my city. It's still new to me with a lot left to find, but I have found a few things that bring me back from time to time. Sometimes a new one will pop up, and I'll get to feel the thrill of discovery on a grand scale. Other times one I've known for a long time will reveal something new, something I had overlooked.

San Antonio is a city of murals. Many are organized by the community. Some serve as reminders, others teach a lesson, and all reflect the beauty in the artists. Still others are spraypainted on boxcars or street signes by some guy to mark turf. I'm a fan of both artistically... It's when the two cross that I get angry.

One of my favorite murals is on the side of the Friends Mart building on Guadalupe. It shows Native American people in beautifully vivid color. The detail is wonderful. I found a small lizard in the background last month, but I made another discovery that day. Taggers had marked up the mural to "rep their cru". The store had to paint over the tag in generic green before the city fined them, but that brings more attention to the blight. What was once a little slice of beautiful became a reminder of the ugly. I know art is not all about beauty, however, in this case the community spent the time to paint an otherwise average wall, in a poor and downtroden part of town, beautifully.

I'm pro Mural.

For a tour of West Side Murals

Art: and it's power

2009-01-21T23:13:00.005-06:00

Art, whether it’s a painting, photograph, movie, music, book or writing, has power to move. Move to action. Move to tears. Move to worship. Move to remember.

Art is powerful for the artist revealing their work of dedication with passion and vulnerability. But also, for the spectator whose life is often imprinted and changed by the artist’s work.

Like this man…changed by this picture…

Art can give you a glimpse into a world you never knew, stir up hope for things to come, break your heart over things that are, and take you back to wonderful or horrible things that were.

Art reveals. It reveals opposing forces. One side being this world as it is, but shouldn’t be…man struggling, chaos, fighting to survive, desperately pining and searching for something that isn’t found from this world. But, the other side reveals things as they were meant to be…man redeemed, peace, living abundantly, fulfilled and satisfied in being called and known by God.

Art - The Inner Spirit communicates

2009-01-21T15:33:00.006-06:00

While in college, I took a philosophy course. Part of our discussion was what was considered "art," and what was not. Our professor basically told us something deemed art by someone considered an "artist" is art. Nothing more, nothing less. So, being the person that I am, I had the following conversation with said professor.

Me - What makes a person an artist?

Prof - An artist is someone who creates.

Me - I create things. Am I an artist?

Prof - No.

Me - Why not? I create stories, poems, essays, and other things.

Prof - You are missing the point.

I guess I was.

So, what is art? As a former literature student, I am supposed to say that it is something that has an aesthetically pleasing and oftentimes challenging aspect and characteristic that communicates with us at a deeper level than our consciousness. I totally agree, yet that is so mysterious. As many people notice, lots of things are considered art. Many things that are what some call obscene or grotesque are labelled art (just search Robert Mapplethorpe or The Body Experiment, but be prepared!!). Pornography is art to some. Yet, art in its truest sense is that communication spirit to spirit. I have been so moved by paintings and sculpture, but I could not put words to the feeling. I have read poems, stories, and novels that express exactly what I have never been able to say, in ways that are totally beautiful. Yet, I cannot tell you why I think so. This is communicating to my Inner Man, my Inner Spirit, my essence. I believe it is soul communication. That part of us that is us. Beyond our mere flesh and bone, synapse and fiber, to that part where we truly lie. The Holy Spirit communicates with us in that area, and art does too. Why? Because God is the One True Artist. Look at our world. It is glorious! It is the finest expression of creativity and communication from the Most High to His subjects. Why does so much art try to mimic and re-create life? Because our world is the perfect manifestation of all the creative power that artists want to possess. God has painted sunsets, sunrises, mountain vistas, desert landscapes, sculpted mighty peaks and deep valleys. He formed oceans, lakes and rivers, glaciers and snowscapes. Just try to imagine. He created the nebulae, comets, and asteroids, planets and stars. That is an artist. And it all speaks to us beyond a shallow visceral level. It penetrates to our true being, our soul.

That is art. Soul to soul communication. Our Inner Spirit communicating to others and with our Creator, the Great Artist.

Art: Unspeakable

2009-01-20T06:13:00.004-06:00

Art says what you can not say.

There is so much to say, so much passion...a fervor...an unction. Spirit speaking to spirit...

I have nothing more to say...Someone else has already said it all...

ART: pARTicipate

2009-01-19T16:22:00.009-06:00

how easy is it to just go through the motions of life. to live, but not really feel alive? to be in this world, but unable to feel like you’re participating in anything?

why don’t we participate… why do we draw back? perhaps because in order to take part in something, we have to know how we feel about actual issues and circumstances? we have to make a conscience effort to actually do something? perhaps we’d rather someone else do the dirty work for us? maybe there’s ridicule, embarrassment, shame, a fear of failure? why are we so good at making excuses?

aren’t we all called to do, and not just stand by idle while the rest of the world flies by? we all have the ability create, to participate.

yesterday, katy and i started a life group at our house. honestly, neither of us were certain that it was exactly what we wanted to do. we occasionally let our focus slip back to the past, the problems, the failures, which hindered us from looking at the possibilities at hand. we were called to lead, so we led…but with a cautious demeanor. it wasn’t until everyone arrived last night that we realized that we were ready to participate again, fully. We were no longer making excuses…

Art: Throbbing Hearts

2009-01-19T09:00:00.003-06:00

In 1984 Ross Bleckner began a body of work incorporating ghostly semitransparent imagery set against dark, spatially illusionistic fields. Through a proliferation of floating urnlike vessels, trophies, garlands, and flowers, the artist created a morbid fin-de-siècle dream space. The memorial symbols in these works have been widely perceived as a response to the AIDS epidemic and its profound impact on the art world. Bleckner’s subsequent motifs are even more elegiac and directly related to the ravages of AIDS—starry skies; the architecture of basilicas; markings resembling Kaposi’s sarcoma and immunodeficient cells; and a constant suggestion of a glowing, otherworldly light.

Throbbing Hearts maintains the melancholy quality of all Bleckner’s work. The passages of luminous red pigment floating on a silvery gray field suggest the pulsing hearts of the painting’s title. Like other iconic forms in the artist’s work, the heart—traditionally considered the bodily seat of love and faith—is richly evocative. Bleckner’s hearts may be considered metonymic allusions to individual beings. “I have always thought of painting as skin, in a sense holding things back, ’in place,’ existing tensely over that that it represses,” Bleckner said in a 1988 interview. “The painter then X-rays parts that the skin covers and uncovers them. The metaphor is obviously figurative (skin protecting the fragility of that that it conceals) but I want the result to be abstract: it transforms itself in the making from the idea of an organ (like a throbbing close to the chest) into an idea about just throbbing.”

From the Guggenheim Collection.

Art: Government stay away!

2009-01-18T20:25:00.002-06:00

There are rumblings about a Cabinet-level arts position being added by the Obama administration. I guess this began last November when music producer and songwriter Quincy Jones mentioned the idea on a New York radio program.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/culturemonster/2009/01/note-to-obama-h.html

Can I tell you how bad of an idea I think this is? Let's put aside for the moment that America's founders might be turning over in their graves at the very idea of this surfacing. I'm not really sure how this might fit into their idea of "limited government." (Sigh)

Do we really want our government involved with deciding what is considered "art" and what is not? I for one shudder at the very thought. I realize that some countries have such a position today AND I tend to stay away from half-baked conspiracy theories, but a "Department of Culture" within the U.S. government is too close to another historical footnote...

From this website on German architecture:

"The Reich Culture Chamber had the most certain purpose; it dealt licences to the press, radio, arts, film, literature and music. Thus all aspects of culture could be regulated and have the Nazi stamp on them. This can be referred to as Gleichschaltung; the way that the Nazis tried to control the media."

No thank you. Next idea please.

Art: mysterious simulation, passionate responses

2009-01-17T21:55:00.007-06:00

For about 6 years I took art lessons. I was an aspiring landscape oil painter of an old, classical school. I logged in thousands of hours in the Fjordland Studio with my instructor - learning to mix my own custom mediums, create bristle-color-surface combinations, and tackling endless scene types. The school of painting I was learning was one that intended to capture natural scenes with as much realism as possible while leaving the least evidence of method and brushstroke. It was a game - to mysteriously re-create a natural scene in such a way that the human eye was not distracted by the evidence of our brushes!

For a few years the art scene was a magnificent journey of mysteries. How do you recreate the lighting, dimensions and vitality of a seaside sunset, crystal clear Alaskan mountain-scape or pastoral field? How do you achieve re-creation without evidence of touch? After awhile I could walk up and diagnose the medium, paint type, brush type and method used on a majority of paintings. There was a thrill to decoding art and nature in tandem! I described the physical world in new terms - Cerulean, Umber, Thalo, Ochre, and Grumbacher Yellow #5.

After an exhibit that effectively stole the joy of painting in lieu of the forced demand to produce quantities and types of pieces, a realization struck me: what an odd pursuit it is to invest enormous amounts of time into simulating reality and re-evoking the passionate response originally felt by a scene experienced in the past. Why do we enjoy and indulge in art so much? What about the (in some ways) silliness of pseudo-photography and emotional replay do we find alluring?

For the artist there's the shadow mission to transmit a personal emotion and perspective through the silent media of the finished piece. For the observer there's a dual experience in discerning the mood and intent of the artist plus the personal, soulical movement evoked.

Why do we enjoy art so much?

Blue: America

2009-01-17T20:05:00.008-06:00

On Tuesday, Barack Obama will be sworn in as our 44th president, and the latest major realignment of American politics will have begun. Battered by political scandal and accusations of incompetence, the red elephants have lost their hold on the levers of power, and will be replaced by the equally scandalized and incompetent blue donkeys. If it weren’t so familiar, our political system would seem pretty absurd.

Normally, I would preface this post with a disclosure of my background – the biases and political proclivities which underlie and undoubtedly influence my thinking. That I’ve decided not to do so highlights a very important point on the subject: politics makes people crazy. Aristotle called Man a political animal, and given the visceral hatred and baleful passions fomented by Man’s politics, this is an apt description. Be honest – you hate your political enemies, don’t you? We often harbor a deep seated animosity toward our political foes. Personally, I want to destroy my enemies, kill their children, and salt their fields. Metaphorically of course – as civilized men we find more subtle ways to channel this hatred. How else to explain the popularity of Cable News?

Scripture reminds us that God has His own policy initiative aimed at fixing all of America’s problems. It’s called The Kingdom of Heaven, and it reduces poverty, fights crime, strengthens families, brings justice, and ensures the peace – all without adding to the tax burden on America’s small businesses. I think most Christians are aware of this initiative, but they quickly discount it as impractical when girding themselves for a political fight. When the political moonbeams are breaking through, otherwise godly Christians are transformed into werewolvian partisans.

Many have begun to question the fruit borne of Christian political alliances, and there seems to be a hunger to embrace the Kingdom of Heaven rather than any particular political ideology. Shane Claiborne has spoken to this in his recent book, Jesus for President, and the indomitable C.S. Lewis continues to exemplify Christian engagement in the difficult moral questions of the age, without resort to political hackery (Clive’s writings vehemently opposed tyranny and despotism, but saw in most other ideologies elements of moralistic natural law which were in agreement with revelation).

It should be noted that Jesus did not walk the earth during a period of political calm. Palestine was occupied by the Roman Empire; the region seethed under Roman oppression and chafed at the imposition of Hellinistic culture. One of the apostles, Simon The Zealot, appears to have been a Jewish radical bent on the overthrow of Roman rule. Jesus himself was the object of Roman scrutiny, for fear He might incite yet another Jewish rebellion. Suffice it to say, Jesus was undoubtedly aware of political realities on the ground. And yet His politics are limited exclusively to a declaration of the Kingdom of Heaven, a call to repentance, and a promise to forgive sins.

Two particular events concerning the life of Jesus are instructive. First, there is the third temptation of Jesus in the desert, as described in Matthew 4:8-10:

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’

Have you ever considered that “all the kingdoms of the world” included not only the tribes, kingdoms, countries, and empires of that day, but also the nations which were to come? In other words, have you considered that the United States of America, as a kingdom of the world, is under the power and dominion of Satan? Jesus was offered the ultimate political victory – absolute control over every political system on the Earth. Imagine what He could have done with that! In a word: paradise. There was just one catch – this political victory would require a little devil worship. If Jesus refused to compromise Himself in order to obtain political power, why should we as Christians not follow His example?

The second event concerns Jesus’ interaction with the Roman Centurion in Matthew 8:5-13:

When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.” Jesus said to him, “I will go and heal him.” The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.” * * * Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that very hour.

This conversation must have been very distressing to Simon The Zealot, and probably to most of Jesus’ disciples. If Jesus refused to fight His political enemies, but rather offered them the Kingdom of Heaven, why should we as Christians not follow His example?

When I lived for a short time in the UK, I was absolutely enthralled by British politics (I still try to catch C-SPAN broadcasts of Parliament when I’m at the gym, though it is often difficult to convince the staff to change a channel to C-SPAN). The really delicious thing about British politics came from being an outsider – I had no preconceived notions of “good” and “evil,” as they are defined by the natives, and I was free to simply observe people without assigning ideological labels, and subsequently discounting these people based on my own prejudices.

I think our citizenship in the Kingdom of Heaven gives us that same freedom. As the world around us descends into serious conflicts, contentious disputes, and – let’s be honest – petty squabbling, we can rest in the political stability of Heaven (an eternal, benevolent dictatorship), draw strength from our infallible leader, and share His message of hope and transformation. Now that’s change I can believe in.

Blue: Code Blue..."There is an eternal perspective that must be considered."

2009-01-15T22:28:00.002-06:00

We have various “codes” at the hospital…
Code Red: Smoke or Fire. We shut all the doors and hope it’s nothing serious. Like a patient trying to smoke in his room and catching the alcohol dispenser on fire.
Code Grey: Verbal Assault. Like a 70 year old lady with dementia and a broken leg yelling at me and trying to leave because she thinks we kidnapped her.
Code Purple: Missing Patient. Like my patient who came to the hospital in respiratory distress because he spent his asthma medication money on cocaine. He had to have a tracheotomy to breath. He leaves the floor with his trach tube still in and hours later still hadn’t come back (he finally did the next day).

And then there is the one that makes us all stop for a second, hope it was an accident and that it will quickly be canceled…
Code Blue: Cardiac or Respiratory Arrest. Someone either doesn’t have a pulse or isn’t breathing. A whole team of doctors, residents, nurses, respiratory therapists and clinical assistants quickly come to fight for a life. It’s sobering. It brings perspective. And fortunately, quite often, pulse and breath begin again; they are revived…even brought back to life.

In my short almost three years as a nurse, I’ve learned how the line between life and death cannot be identified, explained or even assumed. I mean this for both physical and spiritual life.

I thankfully have not had a patient pass away in a “code.” But I have had patients on “palliative care,” or comfort care as they pass away. In this case, no code is called. We give pain medicine and comfort the family as their loved one’s breathing becomes sporadic and infrequent. When does death actually occur? We “call it” when there is no heart beat or breath sounds. But, just because a heart is beating does that constitute life? What about their soul? This makes me queenly aware of the spiritual world, of eternity and that this life is so very temporal.

My best friend’s grandmother died earlier this week. Which led to this somber entry. Three Code Blues were called that same day, hence the connection. I’ve been through this myself so I had a little insight, but I couldn’t be there with her. I cried with her over the phone, prayed for her (starting 4 that morning when I woke up thinking about her), and wished I could bear some of this pain for her. The next day I talked to her and was amazed (as I often am) of her great faith and trust in the sovereignty of the Lord. She’s relatively okay and says, “I think there is an eternal perspective that must be considered. I know where she is, and I know I’ll see her again.” I’m comforted that she is at peace and think of how much more I should consider the same perspective…

The apostle Paul spoke of this… “Set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” (Colossians 3:1&2) Why? So “We do not lose heart…For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” ( 2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

And I think too of life? I don’t think it‘s necessarily the presence of a heart beat, but a ordained creation with purpose and abundance. (Psalm 139, John 10:10)

But being born also doesn’t make us truly alive. For death has come to all men by way of sin. (Romans 3:23; 5:12)

So here’s my point….
Life isn’t as we may first perceive it… Beginning with conception and ending with death. True, abundant, purposeful and forgiven life begins with a new birth (John 3,Romans 6:4). Life…from faith in the salvation of Jesus’ righteousness given to us through His sacrificial death and resurrection (Ephesians 2:1-5; Romans 3:22-25). A life that continues for eternity; even after pulse and breath cease. For those who believe this, if we considered an eternal perspective more often, would we, and shouldn’t we be more like a “Code Blue” team for those still dead in sin and darkness?

Blue: A Colour

2009-01-14T06:23:00.006-06:00

This is not gonna be deep.

I have a wool sweater that I've been wearing over a white t-shirt consistently for the past, oh, maybe 2 weeks. The sweater is blue. Different shades of blue, actually. If I stand straight up with my arms at my sides, the shade goes from very dark blue at the bottom, to a gradually lighter blue in the middle across my chest and upper arms, back to a very dark blue at the top.

When I wear this sweater while talking with someone, and when the topic of favorite color happens to come up--both of these conditions must happen syncronically or it will not work--most people guess that my favorite colour is blue (That's right. I spelled color with a "u" in the distinctly British style. Well, it was next to the word blue, which also contains a "u", and I didn't want that "u" to feel like the only one. He was already a bit down to begin with.).

"Wrong," I say. "My favorite color is brown."

Why do most people assume that people are wearing their favorite colors all the time? (Notice that this time, both favorite and colors are spelled in the distinctly American style, as opposed to favourite colours. Well, I didn't want any American readers to feel I was being prejudiced.)

I can see at least 2 clear reasons for NOT wearing your favorite color:

1) Different colors for different seasons/moods/occasions. The amount of boredom that would result from wearing the same color every day is unable to be exhaustively expounded upon here in words, and so I will give it a number, or rather, create a formula: 10^i where i represents the number of days in a row you wear the same colour (On a side note, that would put me at 10^14 on the colour blue; which means I've gotta lay off it for quite some time, as I've recently given rise to quite a bit of boredom in the world.).

2) We, as a people, cannot possibly make it THAT easy for others to defeat us in the what's-your-favorite-color guessing game. Let's stick together! Let's no one allow the enemy a foothold in this matter! (Isn't that what Paul says?) In fact, let's not even one of us look upon our friends with an envious eye when THEY are wearing our favourite colours, lest we should be found out and doggled by the enemy! (Don't bother looking up the word doggled in the dictionary or on Wikipedia. You'll find it neither in its current form nor in some alternate British spelling. I've just made it up. Yeah? So what? I've made up a word. Shakespeare did it all the time. "But we don't know what it means," you snivel. Well, of course you know what it means! Just look at the context and it'll come to you easily! You're a native English-speaker, for crying out loud! My apologies for any non-native English-speakers who may be reading this. In case you are having any trouble, I've included an official definition for doggled on Wikipedia for your convenience.)

The point is: mix up your colores every once in a while.

Blue: The Depth of Beauty

2009-01-13T20:55:00.002-06:00

Ever heard of The Mariana Trench?

The Mariana Trench is this area in the North Pacific Ocean where the ocean floor just sort of opens up - almost the underwater inverse of a mountain. The ocean's deepest point is part of the Trench, the 36,201 foot deep "Challenger Deep". Challenger Deep is so deep that you could take the tallest peak in the world, Mount Everest, turn it upside down, and drop it into the trench...and still have 7,000 feet before you would have filled the trench to the surface.

36,000 feet is unfathomably deep to me. It is seven miles under water. It is the equivalent of a jetliner's cruising altitude - only it's underwater. It is really, really (really) deep.

And somehow, incredibly, there is life that far down in the ocean. The Mariana Trench sustains a healthy population of sole, shrimp, and flounder and Challenger Deep itself hosts at least 432 different types of creautures. Under 36,000 feet of the blackest blue, there is life.

Blue is the persistence of life.

Blue is the depth of creation.

Blue: What Typically Goes Unseen

2009-01-12T20:50:00.017-06:00

today was a long day. honestly, it's been a long year too, thus far. so tonight, i came home and desired to do pracically nothing. do you ever have those nights when you just wish to do nothing, because you know it's exactly what you need? tonight was one of those nights!

i have built a fire in the chiminea, and i'm sitting outside...a man, his dog, and his fire. as i sit, i desire to focus on nothing...and i guess that's exactly what's happening. only, nothing turns into something...it turns into blocking out everything else that was going on in world, and instead focusing in on that which i've been missing.

i'm sitting here, and i hear dogs barking off in the distance. i see blinking lights of airplanes traveling on to their destinations. i hear cars buzzing by into nowhere. i feel the chill on my hands as i type this word, and this word, and this word. i sit, still, and stare into the fire. i feel the heat against my legs. i see the flames, the blazing orange tips reaching down to the scorching blue. i hear...i feel...i see...

there seems to be something so simple, so primitive, so silly, so natural, to build fire and stare into it. as if looking at the blaze long enough will somehow lead to clearer vision, to a clearer focus. what is this orange and blue flame trying to say to me? i sit here now, soaking in the sounds and the heat, stoking the flames and writing this, and i can't think of a better way to refocus and look for that which typically goes unseen.

Blue: Like Jazz

2009-01-12T19:55:00.002-06:00

Some of you have probably already read "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller.

If you are between the ages of 18-40, Miller's work will be particularly relevant and enlightening. This book will reintroduce you to the spiritual and will help you find your own voice in an age of abject spiritual conformity. I cannot stress enough that you need to read "Blue Like Jazz."

"Sting has this song where he says that he is alone on an island and puts a message in a bottle and throws it into the ocean, only to wake the next morning and have a hundred million bottles washed upon his shore. He sings "I guess I'm not alone at being alone," and I think that sums up how I feel about Blue Like Jazz. It feels like I thought I was alone but woke up one morning to discover nothing could be further from the truth." - Donald Miller

Also, For those of you who have issues with your fathers, I think you will find Miller's "To Own a Dragon" particularly good.

http://www.donaldmillerwords.com/

Blue: Subjectivity

2009-01-12T18:30:00.006-06:00

Well now...this is interesting...

According to a Google search of definitions on the web, "blue" could mean anything from being "suggestive of sexual impropriety" to "morally rigorous and strict"

Really?!

Sure, I know, context comes into play, and non-verbal communication at times...blah, blah...but really...what's up?

What happened to the good old days when blue was simply a color? Ok...so we use a color to describe a mood...cool. I get that...but which mood? We may use it to describe a brand of moral code...but opposites??!!

This will quickly become meaningless rant...so let me just say...it is what it is, if it is to have any meaning at all. The word blue is unimportant in this context...but when we cross the line to say that moral code is subjective...or worse yet that truth is...i get lost in the endless waves of rationalization and justification. Couldn't it be that truth is not subjective...but simply that our understanding of truth is. Why do we have to explain whether truth is "truth" or "capital 'T' truth"?!

Someone told me once that "you shouldn't pass on your convictions to others, just let them discover their own"...I figured they just passed on conviction by saying so...

Someone else tells me that I am wrong to believe that there is only one God...that truth is in the mind of the holder...who am I to think I am right?! I wonder...what makes the "content" of their statement "truth"? I am not looking win an arguement so that I can feel like I am right...my life is hanging in the balance...if someone has the inside line on truth...I want to listen!! I have only found one so far...no one has convinced me more thoroughly than Christ.

Sheesh...round and round we go...no one wants an absolute...oh...wait a minute...except in physics! I tried that one in high school...truth was absolute there. Oh yeah...and in mathematics as well....i argued hard - and lost every time...

So...what makes me blue, is the fact that people all over the word will unplug themselves from their life source through ignorance, pride, guilt, apathy...etc...when love and grace is all they need to understand...

Which Blue? Which one do you think?

Blue - the vast expanses and Memphis tunes

2009-01-12T14:38:00.009-06:00

Well, this is my first ever attempt at writing a blog post. I have read many, wanted to create my own, and now my often disjointed and enigmatic and always eclectic thoughts will be laid bare for all to read. That is a very scary yet freeing thought. I hope I can add something worthwhile to this fellowship. Thanks for the opportunity to bleed. Anyway, on to the prompt.

When I read the prompt, the things that immediately popped up were the sky and the ocean. Two vast expanses that have created a sense of wonder and awe in mankind since our creation. I am sure we have all felt the smallness looking up at the clear blue of a summer day, and realizing that beyond what we can see is our galaxy, then others, on into the ever expanding universe. Or the feeling of standing on the shore looking out toward the horizon and realizing how tiny we are compared to the enormousness of the azure water. Two reminders of how small, frail, weak and needy we are. I always watch birds and fish with envy, as they can move so effortlessly through the expanse of the air or water, cutting and flowing through the blueness with a gracefulness that even the most highly tuned athlete cannot match. This forces me to realize my own limitations, as for all we are as men, we cannot do what these creatures can. At the same time of showing our limitations and paucity of strength, the sky and ocean also show the power of God, and how He has provided and bestows so much to us. We are so tiny and small, yet He cares for us, blesses us with so much, and allows us to come into His presence. How totally amazing is He! From the sky comes warmth, light, and the end result of weather, and from the sea comes the first part of the weather, food, and the ability to maintain our planet's climate where we can survive (for now, but that is another post for another day). Both are representative of God's vastness and strength and our weakness, yet also show His caring nature that we derive all of what makes us survive from these two "blues." We can use these as a means of travel, to connect worldwide as a total community of believers. These are what connect us together, just as the love of God and Christ His Son link us.

Also, as a former Memphis inhabitant, "blue" brings up visions of Beale Street, with musicians laying bare their soul. Todd Agnew has a song, "On a Corner in Memphis," about how real people are when they sing a secular song, especially a blues song, and how they "lay down their pride, showing us their story, or at least their side." And yet, in church, or in small group, or with an accountability partner, we put up a facade of perfection, and hide the raw, visceral truth of our struggles, doubts, and fears. We hide our failures and worries, too consumed with our putting up our front of being normal and okay. We are frightened of being rejected or of being ridiculed or of being real. His point is that if we all dropped the facade, and were real with each other, true growth and community could and would happen. What if we all realized that we are all broken, and only through transparency and openness can we truly represent Christ to each other and to the world? "What if Sunday School was on Saturday night, on a Corner in Memphis?" What would happen? I hope one day we can all see........

Blue: how do you see the world?

2009-01-12T08:09:00.003-06:00

Blue evoked a plethora of pathways for me to consider...3 years ago my bride took me to see the Blue Man Group for my birthday. That was certainly an experience. Then there's the soulical question of the 'tension' of seeing Christ-followers wrestle with depression and the host of inquiries that can raise. I thought also of the "collaboration cube" we use in staff meetings where the person offering up a dream-stage or raw-form concept is said to be "speaking in Blue Sky" mode. Pictures of Eeyore came to mind but I couldn't bear to write about a Winnie the Pooh character.

Then, my lovely wife said I should consider the guy who was Blue, lived in a blue house, blue world, drove a blue car because he would die if it was any other way.

"What the heck?" you might be thinking. I totally agree. Or, agreed, until I watched this video:

Bizarre? Certainly. Freakishly 1980s in style? Probably. Shockingly non-Sharrow-istic? Most definitely.

How often do we align ourselves to so many "hills to die on" that our vision is skewed as if we were wearing special colored glasses? We are so easily partisan, denominational, and context-centric that we scarcely can afford to see the day in front of us for what it is.

In the funky "blue" song, the main character is said to "die if the the anything was green...cuz everything in his mind is blue, since he has nobody he listens to..."

Certainly absolute objectivity is fairly unattainable for any person. Yet, there's something to be said for Paul's seemingly singular attachment - "I consider everything as rubbish except this ONE thing - Christ." It's not that positions and stands are to be insulted or discouraged, but an openness...really a freshness of vision for each day and situation. "What insight might I gain by this interaction? What blind spot is this situation challenging me on? What discovery lies ahead in this otherwise monotonously routine day? What's the real, root issue at play in this situation that may not be apparent by the presentation of symptoms?"

What allegiances are coloring your lenses? What spectrum bandwidth are you isolated to?

*this is an ode to the loss of Indigo from the spectrum listing. R.I.P. O great Roy G Biv...

Tension: A Parable from the Strings

2009-01-12T03:35:00.008-06:00

If anyone out there plays a string instrument, you know about tension in the musical sense.
On a guitar of 6 strings, each string is specially crafted to unique specifications, made to endure a certain amount of tension when stretched across the neck of the guitar. 1) The strings normally stretch from the head--where they can be tuned--to the bridge, where they connect to the body of the guitar. 2) As long as each string keeps within the confines of its specified tension-zone, in other words, as long as it doesn't pass its own tension-barrier, the string will not break from overstretching. 3) If the strings don't have enough tension, however, there is no sound, no voice, no music. 4) Each string is made to work together with the tensions of its 5 sister strings. If you buy a pack of strings of one tension-family, let's say, and then one string breaks, and you try to replace it with a string from another tension-family, there are a few possible problems that may result. One is that the one new string, no matter how hard you try, will always be just slightly out of tune with the other 5 strings. One other long-term problem is that, if the tensions are too different, it could result in the slow distortion of the shape of the neck of the guitar. 5) If you leave any less than 6 strings--but more than none--on the neck at the proper tension for a prolonged period of time, let's say a few months, there is also the possibility of long-term damage to the neck.

Let's now look at this as a parable.
1) The head of the guitar is the Lord, the Head to which we are all connected, and the place where we can all be tuned. The neck and the strings and the body are a small community, connected to the Head. Let's consider the 6 strings as representative of 6 relationships of 6 people in this community.

2) If our relationship with the Head consists all of our effort and morality and stress, we soon break under the tension and cease to do what we were made for, making music--for a time.

3) If we are too loose and don't cling to the Head, if we don't hold fast to Him, we are limp, dead weight. And we cannot make music. We are not in a place of tight relationship with the Head.

4) Each person has a relationship with the Head and with each other. These relationships are not mutually exclusive. If I am out of relationship with the Head, I am out of tune with the others. If I'm out of tune with the others, then we are not as harmonious, melodious, loving, sacrificing, or whatever, as we were designed to be when we were packaged and placed together.

Moreover, being out of sync long-term may cause serious distortion, which may then require a long recovery period.

5) If one member of our community is missing, out of play for some time, or relationally absent, then we may all suffer.

Tension: The Sexual Kind

2009-01-08T21:52:00.003-06:00

I recently read a short booklet on the topic of sexual purity written by Marc Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church. As I am curious to see how Google's AdSense technology will handle this titillating topic, I'd like to present a short review. If you want to read the booklet for yourself, you may do so here. I am simply too puritanical (or is it victorian?) to use certain charged words in my post, so I will employ the euphemisms Philosophy and Math - difficult subjects with which men throughout the ages have obsessed, and godly men have often struggled. If you haven't guessed what Philosophy and Math refer to, please talk to your parents after school.

In the interests of full disclosure, I should tell you that Mars Hill appears to be one of those newfangled "emergent" churches that the kids are so crazy about these days (though it should be noted that Driscoll rejects this label). A lot of folks would probably characterize the church as theologically conservative and culturally liberal. Defining the term "emergent" is like trying to nail jell-o to the wall, so I have no idea whether everything coming out of Mars Hill is spiritually reliable or not. All I can tell you is that this booklet was drenched in Scripture and nothing screamed "heresy!"

In the first three chapters, Driscoll outlines God's view of human sexuality and provides a lot of examples where the idolatry and disobedience of God's people was either related to sexual immorality, or described euphemistically in sexual terms (God gets especially cheeky in Ezekiel 23... it's enough to make the whole Bible Belt blush). I think his conclusions are spot on:

However, throughout history men have been prone to obey the letter of the law on these matters, while violating the spirit. The spirit of these scriptures forbidding sinful sexual practices includes the sins of the mind where men amass a harem rivaling Solomon's but only in their imaginations.
* * *
[S]exual sins are not "out there" in the media, strip club, or gal with low-rise jeans and hi-rise thong. Truly, the problem is "in you." It is from the sinfulness of your heart that lust and sin proceed like sewage from a culvert. This is the painful, unvarnished truth.

In Chapter 4, Driscoll addresses the sinfulness of Philosophy and notes that the Philosopher degrades not only himself but the object of his study. There's a thought-provoking story about a young woman who was abused as a child and grew up thinking she was so filthy that she actively took part in her own degradation, even becoming a Philosophy Star. It wasn't until Jesus pulled her from the muck and mire that she understood her worth in Christ. The author wonders at the men in his church who rent Philosophy videos - possibly her own - and then stand next to her in worship oblivious to her tragic past.

Driscoll transitions to a discussion of Philosophy's endgame in Chapter 5, i.e., Math. There's a lot of scriptural support for his Mathematical warning, and he ends with a rather racy Q&A. I liked Chapter 6 because Discoll didn't just focus on the DONT'S of purity, but rather set the DONT'S against the DO'S. Christian men are the glory of God, and salvation has freed them from bondage to Philosophy and Math so that they can demonstrate this glory to mankind. The author quotes from a Greek philosopher (an actual philosopher, not a "Philosopher Star") who reported as follows on the sexual purity of the first-century Church:

They do not commit adultery or immorality... Their wives, O king, are as pure as virgins, and their daughters are modest. Their men abstain from all unlawful sexual contact and from impurity, in the hopes of recompense that is to come in another world.

Chapter 7 contains another racy Q&A, while Chapter 8 references a transcript of James Dobson's interview with Ted Bundy hours before Bundy's execution. Bundy grew up in a Christian home with godly parents and allegedly went from exposure to softcore Philosophy to serial killing in a relatively short lifespan. Slippery slope indeed. Driscoll ends this final chapter as follows:

In closing, sin leads to death. Jesus died for your sins. You are in a war. Be a man. Put your sin to death.

The booklet also contains several appendices which address prostitution and sex slavery, the purpose of which is to remind the reader that our sin grievously affects others.

I don't think there's anything new or surprising in this booklet for the somewhat mature believer. I certainly don't want to harp on sexual purity to the exclusion of all else - and trust me, I've been in soul draining Bible studies and accountability relationships obsessed almost exclusively with this topic (in fact I think I led such a study at one point) - but it's still good to be reminded of these truths from time to time.

Tension: A Cornucopia

2009-01-07T12:25:00.008-06:00

hyperTENSION: thanks to genetics, i’m one of millions of americans who suffer from hypertension, or as it’s commonly referred to, high blood pressure. that was quite a sobering truth i realized a couple years ago as a 27 year old, rather healthy and active individual. moderately speaking, it doesn’t seem to matter what i do or try to change (diet, exercise, etc.), i will most likely be on medication for the rest of my life. funny how even though we choose most our own paths, some are already chosen for us.

TENSION headache: according to research, over 10 million people a year visit a doctor or emergency room because if headaches. tension headaches are the most common form. several factors causing these annoying little pains are: stress, sleep deprivation, bad posture, irregular meal time, eyestrain, and caffeine withdrawal. it’s funny how we all get these headaches, but it seems that we bring them upon ourselves (see common symptoms above). so, why do we treat our bodies the way we do? do we sometimes feel indestructible? are we lazy? are we up too late at night reading this blog or watching home improvement reruns? are we hunched over our desks all day at work, causing our spine to resemble a question mark? have we allowed our lives to become too busy, consumed, that we have lost the ability to unwind and de-stress?

TENSION (physics): please bear with me…i know i just wrote the word physics, but i promise no quadratic formulas or having to solve for X involved here. tension as it applies to physics is simple: it’s the pulling of an object. in the world of architecture and engineering, tension is a fairly common term. (so are the phrases reTENSION pond and deTENSION pond, but we won’t get into those two, because i still don’t know the difference.) basically, tension is necessary to hold structures together. Without tension, there is no bond.

so, i’ve established several different uses, emotions and forces invoked from the single word, tension, but what does all this mean? i’m sure you’re asking yourself why did i just ramble on for the past 3 paragraphs…i promise i have a point… at least i think i do. allow tension to be the input and resolution to be the outcome. tension can cause pain and turmoil when not addressed correctly…but it can also be the glue that holds us all together. tension in our lives is inevitable…it’s present amongst friendships, work associates, social issues, monetary concerns, it's everywhere. tension keeps us stressed, but it also keeps us going. tension takes us to a jumping point..

Tension: Latent Hostility

2009-01-06T23:06:00.003-06:00

I wonder sometimes what agape looks like. What would unity within diversity look and feel like. For the most part it seems that we are more willing to accept various degrees of tension, underlying / latent hostility or frustration, and somehow justify our feelings, and assume that we live relatively loving lives. Relative to what though?

If we are commanded to love each other...and if the Creator of the Universe deems that possible... how do we accomplish this? Have we?

Maybe in this instance dependence is maturity. Maybe it is impossible for us to do this on our own. Maybe it is more a matter of surrender than discipline. Maybe it will require a position of rest, not having a full view of the future or what wrongs we will endure...we simply rest in the knowledge that He is alive and working in us to will and to act according to His purpose, to His essence: Love.

Maybe it is possible, and we just haven't experienced it yet...

Tension: Or How I’d Rather Write about Distension

2009-01-06T14:11:00.005-06:00

Tension doesn’t worry me.

Distension worries me gravely.

Distension is the "expansion or swelling up from within", which is the opposite of the external, pulling forces that are the source of tension. Ever heard of a “distended” belly? You know the look. A starving African child with a portruding belly looks solemnly into the camera as the voiceover pleads with you to sponsor a child – "before it’s too late". That is the picture of distension.

Thinking about those children, I am reminded of our own distended lives. We live an existence that is bursting at the seams, mainly due to pressure from within. We are quick to blame exterior forces for all of our ills, but they are only clever scapegoats.

The truth remains that we are becoming distended due to our own collective will. We are cultural multi-taskers, drive-thru addicts, and Crackberry fiends. We are also temporal cause-junkies, whether the flavor of the day is an election or climate change, Tibet or Darfur. We are evolving into a state of constant awareness, a state that often finds us so “aware” of everything that we are unable to properly focus on (or actually accomplish) anything.

Somewhat illogically, our lives become distended not because they are too full. Rather, our distension stems from the fact that all of our cause-chasing and facebooking, all of our pretending to be important or appear impactful, leaves our lives empty and devoid of real substance.

(In looking for the “right” picture of a distended belly, I ran across a devastating display of photographs of starving children. Just Google “starving child Africa” and click on images. I cannot sit back and accept such horrors… My next web stop was the site of the WFP. It is a good day to fill someone else’s cup.)

Tension: Integrative Thinking

2009-01-05T23:52:00.001-06:00

Being able to hold opposing ideas in the mind simultaneously is a skill to be practiced. However, I am convinced that this mental tension results in better ideas. While it is easy to settle (especially with our Western mindset) for a simple "black or white" choice, I have great respect for the visionaries who are able to see out beyond the current idea horizon. These rare individuals are able to generate altogether better option "C's" to help us solve previously difficult problems.

Many great leaders possess this skill. I tend to agree with Roger Martin, dean of the Rotman School at the University of Toronto, that this "integrative thinking" is a skill that can be honed. When faced with a problem we need to resist the urge to be defensive. This is difficult as the Socratic Method of which many of us are subconscious products is essentially a debate of ideas (with an implied winner and loser). Instead, ask questions like:

Are there causal relationships I am missing?
Are all the options truly mutually exclusive?
Are there pieces of each option that can be salvaged as part of another idea?
What are the trade-offs of the alternatives?

Can we move beyond the expected to create novel solutions to problems both small and great?

"Whenever you face a decision between two options, don’t think that your job is to choose; think that your job is to create a better option. " –Roger Martin

Tension: delight in the paradoxes, go for the 3 points

2009-01-05T09:09:00.006-06:00

I despise relational tension - that fog-like awkwardness that consumes a room when two or more people have unresolved stuff. It's like walking into a room of people and seeing an ex-whatever and suddenly the entire social scene becomes a funky dance of avoidance. Workplaces can become the set for novella-quality soap operas when this is permitted to advance unmitigated.

Religious, philosophical, theological, personal and truth (epistemological) tension, however, is fantastic. I get stoked when I see someone tied up looking at 2, 3 or 16 things that don't seem to fit together the way they had expected. Tension! Yay! Why? Not because i have some social variety of latent maniacal tendencies, but because I believe God designed the world and reveals Himself in a series of intentional paradoxes. The God of the universe seems to delight in mystery plays and enigmatic truths that are so simple that they confound the most intellectual of people.

The hazard of tension (and subsequent reason why so many people loathe unresolved tension) is the outcome possibilities and probabilities. In tension, a number of outcome categories exist:

(1) Breakage. The rubber band snaps, ricocheting fragments around the room and creating shrapnel injury to bystanders. Bang! Ouch! This can mean torn families, warring nations, split church communities, schisms resulting in adversarial denominations and a host of other ills.

(2) Stretching. Sustained tension often times reveals the elastic potential of an object. As the poles suspending an object refuse to surrender, the object begins to elongate and discover new frontiers of being formerly thought impossible. Realizing that 2 passages of Scripture are unavoidably clear and yet creating friction with my world view can require me to go back to the drawing board of what I've assumed to be true about something if I'm not willing to discard Scripture.

(3) Stalemate Neutrality. If an object is not elastic but also unrelenting under the pressure, an object just remains in a stalemate of tension. It's awkward, embarrassing and can seem pointless - but it's honest. There are these 2 points, I can't let go of either but can seem to stretch any further so I'm stuck. It's one of the most honest places to be.

I love tension because it forces an impasse of response. You can let go of whatever is creating opposing tension (this is how you get well-intentioned but myopic theology, platforms and mobs). You can let the tension of the poles paralyze you. Or, you can go for the 3 point field goal and seek after how to balance the paradox and exist in unifying harmony.

Then tension advances further and you begin thinking about triangulation. It's like a principle GPS schematic - if Truth A, Truth B, and Truth C are all Truths, then where does that place me without violating one of them? It's reverse-engineering your location or the necessary "resolution" of tension points.

A great sadness i have is the life missed and harmed by a mass avoidance of tension. Rather than address a lifestyle (overspending, lethargic non-contribution, anger, x-aholic tirades, etc.) contradiction to professed worldview, we move fast enough to try and not face the tension crying out. We "don't like to think about those things because it makes my mind hurt" and so claim simplicity when really allowing our sailboat to be cast about by the winds of haphazardly formed theology, worldviews and sentiment in our sails. We realize it might be sketchy to really face the goalposts and kick between those 2 points so we punt and hope to land on our feet next quarter.

God is love and yet unapologetically holy, just, righteous and prone to wrath against the rebellion of man. We are brilliant, imageo dei, have dominion over Creation...yet fragile, selfish, ruthless and despicable. We profess love of God and people but are outdone by pagans, desire to know more about God but live in a 20:1 ratio of media:holiness pursuits. Our life is a paradox, Creation is a Paradox...Tension is the sandbox of discovery. If, of course, we are really ready to discover the answers. Sometimes the light is more piercing than the darkness and we quietly retreat back into the shadows and hit the snooze button a few more times.

Resolution: A little Less Pessimism

2009-01-04T21:59:00.003-06:00

As an adolescent in a sea of Matts and Matthews (and even the occasional Mateo), it became necessary to choose a nickname in order to cleave out some semblance of personhood. As my friends and I were studying Koine Greek at the time - and were apparently oblivious to the nerdiness of it all - we chose Greek names. I became Cairo, the aural analogue of the Greek word for "joyful." And it's been downhill ever since.

I'm not exactly sure when I became a perennial pessimist, but "joyful" has always been more of a goal than a reality. I have never had difficulty accepting the total depravity of man - what amazes me is that there's anything worth redeeming there in the first place. If I were the Almighty, I would have bathed the globe in fire and been done with it a long time ago. I'm pretty much the photo-negative of Joel Osteen, given my firm belief in the poverty gospel and the power of negative thinking. I tend to see the worst in people, probably because I've seen what people are capable of, even those who claim to follow Jesus Christ.

The current financial crisis has been particularly instructive as the detritus from years of orgiastic greed and whorish materialism has finally begun to float to the top of our corrupt financial system. The whole country was caught up in giant housing Ponzi scheme, and even Christians were lusting after their granite countertop idols. And now it's all come crashing down. Hallelujah.

Pessimism is pretty comfortable actually, as it tends to insulate you from disappointment and make the pain in your life, if not absent, at least unsurprising. The problem with this comfort is that God calls us to be joyful, and even lists "joy" as one of the fruits of the Spirit which should characterize a Christian in Galatians 5:22-23. And so I resolve to be a little less pessimistic this year (outright joy will have to wait until 2010).

A great place to start might be a reading of Ecclesiastes. Solomon had some serious joy problems, and spent much of his life in the elusive pursuit of lasting joy, proving that even the very wise can be manic depressive (Yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory... had prozac). After experiencing everything under the sun, the Teacher concludes:

"fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil." - Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

Focusing exclusively on the brokenness of the world - the sin, the violence, the injustice - leads to despair. I once thought that optimists were simply naive, that they hadn't yet received a proper introduction to the ways of the world, or perhaps had chosen to simply overlook the brokenness. But it's possible to observe the brokenness and remain optimistic about God's plan for it all. I think my pessimism is deeply rooted in a sense of helplessness: the wicked prosper, the righteous are oppressed, the world is broken, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

But in the end, He will bring every act to judgement (even those I wasn't aware of). That is an incredibly comforting thought. This promise of ultimate justice really frees us to spend less time obsessing over the ways sinful men destroy the world and more time looking for ways redeemed men may bless it. I regret that I've emphasized the former at the expense of the latter. Though it shocks me to write it, I'm actually somewhat optimistic about God's plans for me in 2009. I eagerly anticipate the new relationships God will give me, the opportunities for spiritual conversations at work, and even a mission of sorts that He's recently laid on my heart. I'll still probably read a lot about the economic collapse, the failure of global capitalism, and the fall of Western civilization, but I'll do so with a little less pessimism.

Resolution: To will the ONE thing

2009-01-04T16:41:00.002-06:00

From the beginning of Soren Kierkegard's classic "Purity of Heart Is to Will the One Thing":

"Father in heaven! What is a man without Thee! What is all that he knows, vast accumulation though it be, but a chipped fragment if he does not know Thee! What is all his striving, could it even encompass a world, but a half-finished work if he does not know Thee: Thee the One, who art one thing and who art all! So may Thou give to the intellect, wisdom to comprehend that one thing; to the heart, sincerity to receive this understanding; to the will, purity that wills only one thing. In prosperity may Thou grant perseverance to will one thing; amid distractions, collectedness to will one thing; in suffering, patience to will one thing. Oh, Thou that giveth both the beginning and the completion, may Thou early, at the dawn of day, give to the young man the resolution to will one thing. As the day wanes, may Thou give to the old man a renewed remembrance of his first resolution, that the first may be like the last, the last like the first, in possession of a life that has willed only one thing."

I resolve to will the one thing (with foreknowledge that I will most certainly and consistently fail). Loving the LORD daily with all one's heart, all one's soul, and with all one's might is a monumental task. Rabbi Yeshua's further admonition to love my neighbor as myself adds a relational component to the challenge. May He grant us grace as we daily practice willing the one thing.

Resolution: Failure is an Opportunity to Hear His Voice

2009-01-03T08:44:00.004-06:00

Well, what the word "resolution" brought to my mind was 1) how quickly I make them 2) how quickly I break them.

I am also reminded of an experience I had just about 2 weeks ago. I was having one of my many frustrated conversations with our Lord through the medium of singing and playing the guitar--mostly because I find it difficult to speak openly and honestly other ways. And I was telling Him, "Lord, so many people live a great portion of their lives on this earth as Your children, and yet they only live with half, or at least less than the whole, of their hearts. I don't want to live like that. If my life is going to be like that, Lord, than just kill me now and take me up, because anything less is just a waste of Your time."

Then, I just felt like the appropriate response was to shave my head. I can't tell you exactly why. Sometimes people shave their heads to signify vows they've taken. This wasn't exactly a vow. It wasn't even really a clearly defined resolution. It was just a desire that I was expressing, and maybe this was the way to mark the occasion.

Well, I took my electric razor with me into the bathroom and began to shave my head. The only thing was, half-way through the process my razor ran out of electricity. Plus, I had to go meet somebody for lunch just a half an hour from the time my razor spazzed out on me. So, I left the job half done, put on a beanie, and went to go meet my friend. I left the beanie on all day.

The next morning, I got up and spent some time talking with the Lord.
"Mark, why won't you take off your beanie when you go outside?" He said.
"Because I'll look like an idiot. People will laugh at me," I replied.
"What if you'd shaved your whole head? Would you be afraid to take off the beanie then?"
"No," I said.
"Well, why not?"
"Because, even though it'd draw attention and look a bit strange--as most people with shaved heads here in this country are criminals--it wouldn't be as strange as a half-shaved head. If I finished the job, at least people would recognize I have made a total committment to a completely shaved head. People would see me only as a bit strange, not as a fool."

And then I remembered what He said in Luke:
"If any one of you wants to build a house, won't he first consider all the materials he needs and see whether he has everything necessary to finish it? Otherwise, he'll start building and have to stop before he's finished. Then, people will say, 'Look! This man started to build a house but isn't able to finish it!'"

I recharged my electric razor and finished the job I'd started.

Sometimes, however well intentioned we may be, we can make resolutions too hastily and end up failing to live up to them, which can bring embarassment, discouragement and even sometimes a sense of self-loathing. But, thank the Name that He sees our resolutions in light of the truth, and when we don't follow through He takes advantage of the opportunity to speak to us and teach us. Peter said he'd follow Him unto death, and in fact all the students said the same thing. And what happened? Peter denied Him three times and all the others forsook Him and fled. But, actually, the Lord knew the truth of the situation--Peter and the students' weakness. And what was His response? A loving reacceptance, an overlooking of the failure to keep one's word, and new strength through His Spirit for the future.
"He is mindful that we are but dust." -Psalm 103

Resolution: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Silence

2009-01-02T12:58:00.003-06:00

Not too many years ago, I was angry at the world. The world, you see, had decided that all of the things that I cared about were beyond it's control and so those things were simply ignored.

I had just returned to America after some time in Africa and no one else really seemed bothered (at least not as bothered as me) that millions of children were dying needlessly from a lack of food, a lack of medicine, and a lack of insect repellent.

I would pick fights and hold grudges and generally snarl at anyone who didn't at least acknowledge that we were all fat, lazy, American jerks who were infinitely-more interested in our own wealth than in the things of the Almighty.

Then, life began to happen around me. I was blessed with a wife. Somewhere along the lines, I was given a job and a car and a house. My first child is seven days old today.

Along that journey, I began to realize that I wasted a lot of energy beating my head against a wall. I wasted a lot of energy trying to convince the world that they should care about something that they obviously cared less about. I had a lot to love around me and only so much time to love it. The busy reality of life began to choke out my ability to be angry at the world. (As recently as a week ago, I read a blog post encouraging people to buy as much as they could since Jesus was the ultimate gift and buying gifts honors him. I almost exploded in rage. Millions are still dying - do we really need more stuff? And in the name of Jesus?!?! Deep breaths...)

Instead of exploding, I vowed to stop reading that blog, to simply remove that from my life. I vowed to remove the dissonant noise so I could better hear the beauty that surrounds me. I realized, maybe for the first time, that such anger and bitterness actually hampered my ability to love fully. My resolute devotion to my heart's causes was actually a distraction. So, I left that blog page and clicked over to "Save Darfur" to make a donation. Then I picked up my daughter and smiled.

I am only realizing now that I can be idealistic even if I never convince detractors to adopt my ideals. I can be an activist even if I never inspire another to action. I can change the world without raising my voice.

So, I am more resolute than ever. Only now, I am satisfied with changing the world in silence.

Resolution: semantic fractals left in tension

2009-01-01T19:21:00.009-06:00

I think a vast amount of personal growth and understanding is lost to the unfaught battle of semantics. I also appreciate the paradoxes God instituted in His Creation, Kingdom and humanity - for the variety lends itself to a beautiful fractal once necessary vantage points are arrived at. That being said, the word "resolution" brought to my mind some semantic fractals.

First, have you ever considered the range of meaning and implication behind the word 'resolution' by chance? It's significant. Good ole' Wikipedia (God bless 'em) outlines the major categories or disciplines.

This past week I spoke with a couple in acute distress. The issue was really a concert of conflicts orbiting their individual Christ versus Self/Flesh tensions; the fruit of this was a host of harmful words and actions that was leading them into "crazy cycles." After much deliberation, prayer and reconciliation, what I presented them with was a set of "Relational Resolutions." These resolutions were principled commitments for them to sign - making a 'resolved' commitment to uphold them regardless of feeling, conviction or preference in the days ahead. So often in life we lack these non-negotiables, these unquestionable commitments that supersede our own situational election. What relational (insert marriage, friendship, familial, other), spiritual, financial or general life resolutions do YOU have in place? Does anyone know them?

Then, there's the sense in which a resolution is the resolving remedy for some conceptual tension. In my days of corporate project management the need to arrive at a 'resolution' for conflicting factors was commonplace. The new IT system must be online in 60 days, must be able to do A, B, C, and D - yet the budget was just slashed by 40%. My job was to find the resolution for the apparent impasse of stakeholders. Could we get by with just releasing a system with A-B-C and hold off D until Phase 2? Does scope change, quality change, timeline, new infusion of capital or is there an X option we haven't thought of? The principle value of my role was to be that neutral party who worked with all contributors to ensure we got to the finish line, to brainstorm the remedy on the fly and make sure we always find a resolution. Sometimes I wish we employed project managers for our lives - because so many of our ambitions and life journeys meet premature demise because we reach an impasse without the perspective to discern any resolving remedy. We abort, surrender, waver or (worse yet) just coast ineffectively towards nothingness because no one forces us to make the hard decisions and remain resolved...where are you stalled, drifting or taxiing on the runway because you've not invited a hard look at life resolutions?

Finally, the application of "resolution" that I think is most powerful, dynamic and broadly applicable to our lives as humans, citizens, and Christ-followers comes out of the world of Music. In the context of a broader musical arrangement, a note that is beyond the elastic range of consonance results in dissonance. Dissonance is that instinctive impulse our ears and minds have when we hear a key played just slightly off...there's this "uh, that doesn't sound right at all" vibe. 'Resolution' is the "need for a sounded note and/or chord to move" to restore consonance (good sounding). A good composer uses dramatic flirtations with dissonance and resolution back to consonance to add emotion and suspense in the musical movements. When left in the drift too long it ruins the piece and the sound is corrupted, consumed by the audible drag of that out of place note/chord. Fascinating, isn't it? (maybe I'm just a nerd) At times in our lives, we permit shadow missions, hidden drivers, secret motivations and comfort practices to create a dissonance that fractures the overall harmony or beauty. Sometimes it's hidden, but when un-resolved, that funky note/chord grows to take over the symphony of our lives. Is there a metaphoric thing in your life that threatens to pollute the greater movements with a dissonance...that awaits resolution?

Lots of resolutions...a myriad of tension points. Which resolution "fractal" is most relevant to your life story in this time and place? What response do you sense is called for - and will you take the step?

Resolution: Remove the Static

2009-01-01T16:40:00.004-06:00

there are several different directions to go with the single word “resolution”. the first one that came to mind was the ever popular new year’s resolution, seeing as its new years day and all. my problem with that is, i was never any good at making them, and absolutely horrible at keeping them. even the word spells it out for you, re-solution…meaning you already know how to remedy the issue…in fact, it’s probably already been attempted half-heartily several times; thus the “re”.

i like this version better…it’s like the resolution on a television. i know, the era of rabbit ears is just about over, but take that trip down nostalgia lane with me for a second. the purpose of gaining better resolution on a tv is to see a clearer picture. and in order to accomplish that, modification had to be made…constantly. if the picture was fuzzy, you had to stop and ask yourself why? you wouldn’t continue to watch a fuzzy screen if there was a fix at hand, would you? so why do we so often allow the static in our lives, rather than finding and implementing the solution? now, thanks to technology, cable, hd, plasma screens, etc., the days of constant tinkering to gain television resolution are just about over. but perhaps something is lost on all of that…the ability to step back and assess the situation. the thought to ask the question “why?”.

why do we do some of the things we do? can we do things differently? make modifications to our routine, even if it’s already fairly clear…remove the static.

Resolution: Achieving real change

2009-01-01T14:20:00.003-06:00

Ah...tis the season for resolutions; to resolve to be better. BUT alas, if it is one thing I have discovered in more than 43 yrs of life...I am hopeless at "being better". In fact, I have discovered that I have no hope at all...in myself.

Now, before you sign off, and right off this whole blog experiment based on an assumption of my morbid self-deprecation...let me explain...no, there's too much...let me "sum up"!

Try as I might, I have not been able to demonstrate any consistency at be loving, unselfish or even (on especially tough days) pleasant. The call to love others seems way too much to actually achieve most days. I don't believe I am a pessimist...I just see myself for what I am: imperfect. I know the truth of Christ, and that He is the "hope" of the world. I get the context of Creation and purpose, and I have discovered reason to life and yet...sigh...I despair at times over my inability to be the kind of authentically loving man I want to be...

Hope in myself alone has proven to be an expectation without effect...and my "hope in Christ", until about a year, ago was largely in myself as well...I thought I had to become something to please Him, as if I could overcome the world as He had.

What I have found is that change is more about "willingness" than "willfulness". If I was able to become better on my own, by simply willing myself, then Christ wasted His time and pain.

This year's resolution is the same as what has been growing in me over the last...to stay in "posture" and allow my Creator Father to "work in me to will and act according to His purpose" (Phil 2:13)

Posture is defined (paraphrased from Merriam-Webster) as the "stance which enables capability".

My formula for posture has become R+R+Q+T = S2 (Isaiah 30:15-16)

Repentance & Rest - for / from my past = Salvation

Quietness and Trust - for my future = Strength

This formula enables my capability; my ability to change. It's a posture of receiving my life from my Creator...constant relationship with Him (abiding) - dependent on Him for everything, including my next breath and heartbeat.

So has it worked. Resoundingly - YES!

A resolution to stay postured, has been producing real change, for I have seen where He is working in me in places I could not change myself. Restoring relationships that were broken, and providing peace and courage for every circumstance.

Okay - too much to say! More to follow...

Happy New Year!

Foreword

2009-01-01T10:50:00.003-06:00

Welcome to "phlebotomic", a blog experiment that seeks to gather multiple perspectives around a common topic - one week at a time.

Having blogged almost 500 entries on a personal blog, I found that my posts became predictable. I bored myself.

I began to wonder what a blog would look like if it had multiple users all concentrated on one topic at a time. So that is what this is...Each week, the authors of phlebotomic will write on a common prompt (which could be a word or a question or something completely different) that will be provided to them and reflected in the title of their post. (For instance, the first prompt is "resolution".)

I hope that the result will be an intriguing exercise, one that stretchers both the readers and the authors. I hope that we will continue to add more authors from diverse disciplines and faith backgrounds and that we will truly engage here in a new and distinct way.

Of the title of the blog, "phlebotomic" is a medical term referring to the "bleeding out" of a patient. Here, the hope is that the faith and hope and experience of the authors will slowly be bled out so we are all richer for bearing witness to their journey.

Sh'ma.
Kyle